September 28, 2002
Hello kiddies. I am now 20. Yes!!!!!!!! I forget what happened over the course of last week. But last night rocked the house. We had an eighties party. Yes, that's right. I liked it. A LOT. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Then I slept all day today and lost all my desire to type stuff. Check out pictures. Now.

Jammin James.

Hi Pi.

Sup Steve.


Hell yes.

Ummm... its an eighties party, not gay-ties.

I thought Charlie Chaplin was long gone.

Sup ladies.

Sarah and Christine.

Hi Nicole.

Finnie and Abby.

Sup ladies.

Hi Bonnie and Megan.

Allison's buttfloss.

Hi Amanda.

Hi Sam.

Pretty in Pink.

The only known picture of me last night.

Hi Amanda again.

Amanda and Stupid Slut.

Tada. Thanks everyone for coming. Sorry I didn't get pictures of a lot of you. If you have pictures, then send them to me. Now.

September 22, 2002
Sup ladies. I just got back from Richmond today. Friday, I drove home and I went through the toll and then my window would not roll up again. HAHAH. Oh, did I forget to mention that the passenger side window does not roll down. So, they balance each other out. I took the car to the shop and he banged on the door and my window rolled up. Frickin sweet. Then Saturday, the show was badass. Finch is amazing as always, I can't wait to see them a third time in November. And then Jimmy Eat World is simply amazing. They played a bunch of songs off of Clarity, as well as off their newest album. Our Lady Peace was a hit as well, but I don't know much of their stuff. And American Hi-Fi just blows ass. Nobody came to see them. And I was driving home and I had my window slightly cracked. I come to a stop light to turn left. There is a U-HAUL to the left of me also turning left. Light turns green. We both turn and the U-HAUL runs over a plastic bottle of Coke or some shit and it explodes and manages to make its way into my car and all over my face and eyes. I slam on the brakes in the middle of the intersection. Of course, I'm freaking out because I think somebody threw corrosive acid on me and my skin was being eaten away. Come to think about it, I really have no idea what it was. Let's hope it was soda. I don't have any new pictures because I have only taken a few... and I have yet to put them on my computer. I'm sorry I'm a slackass. We have no hot water until tomorrow. I took two cold showers on Friday. But it's okay, we boil hot water in pots and then use that. I swear. Also, does anybody want a lizard? My sister's friend is getting rid of it. It's a two foot monitor lizard. It's badass. I want it but we aren't allowed to have pets. Let me know. Time for Sopranos. I will be designing the smithappens shirt so everyone can have one. YAY.




Hello Ugly Piyum.


My Uncle's office in upstate NY. And my sister. Hello Jillian.

It costs slightly higher to kill yourself in New York.

September 19, 2002
Lalala. Oh, Hello! I did not see you there, friend. This weekend I am going to Richmond to see Jimmy Eat World and Finch. ROCK ON. Our Lady Peace and American Hi-Fi and a bunch of local bands are going to be there as well. For 8 bucks. Get excited. Tomorrow I have a big test in Media Arts and Design 101. I am very very very nervous. I have been to the gym the last four days. In a row. I am getting frickin ripped and jacked and massive and shieeet. I think I am getting close to the status of glove-wearers. Yes, I too, want to be a jacked beefcake with his own pair of weight lifting gloves! And then I can buy a shirt and cut off the sleeves so I can look at my massive arms in the mirror every five seconds. Now, I realize some of my friends wear cutoffs. I am not ripping on you, I am ripping on all the other guys. And don't shave your body hair and wear a Gold's Gym shirt and fuckin spandex shorts. I think most of you know who I am talking about. Give me a break. Well, I guess I am just jealous. Because my back is extremely hairy and when I shave it, I can't reach my entire back. So I guess that's why everyone called me "Hey-Stupid-Fag-Who-Tries-To-Shave-His-Back-But-Can't-Reach-His-Entire-Back-So-Go-Swim-With-The-Sharks" at the beach this summer. Right. Another fashion tip, guys: don't wear wifebeaters unless you are in your pajamas or working out or something of the like. Don't wear a open shirt over your wifebeater in public. You look like a fool. But once again, it is because I am jealous. On the other hand, girls are encouraged to wear wifebeaters. In the rain. Since we are on the topic of shirts, how many of you peoples want a smithappens shirt? We will be making them very shortly. And distributing them to the mass population. We already have a large quantity of yellow shirts that say "UVA SPITS" on the front and "TECH SWALLOWS" on the back. I will have pictures of them and sales info over the weekend. This is all.

September 16, 2002
Hello. Sorry for the six day break between updates. HAHAHA. Actually I did update it yesterday but of course my computer froze again HHAHA. That's two updates I have lost. Gone. Forever. Well nothing has been going on. This weekend Steve, Piyum, and I played raquetball. First game, Steve beat me by two points. Then Steve beat Piyum 11-1. Piyum sucks ass. Now I got to wreak havoc on Ugly Piyum. I won 11-5. Then it was the showdown between the two better players, Steve and Smitty. Steve won again. Crap. And I quote Steve "I have never lost." Now doesn't little Steve sound a little bit cocky of his mediocre skills? Or am I just insanely jealous because he beat me TWICE? VOTE BELOW. Our beloved scooter has broke. Five days after the purchase, she broke. She will not move anymore. So when I find out who broke her, I will hunt you down and chop off your toes and shove them up your broken face. The lost poll has convinced me to keep my site red even though the plurality of you fockers voted for MJ. Now that just doesn't make sense, does it? How can the color of my background be MJ? How bout I don't put MJ up as an option anymore? WOULD YOU LIKE THAT? Yeah, that's what I thought. Sucka. Pretty soon I will be switching servers... which will allow me to have more space. What does that mean for you?!!? Well, with 10 times as much space, I will finally be able to put up all of our videos and more songs by Green Eggs and Sam!!!! Also, the new server will be able to handle the secret project. HAHAHAHAA. I know you can't wait. And I will change the format of this shiznit once again very shortly. Gotta run now though. Sorrrrrrrrrr. Later.

Here is Piyum running up the side of the Convocation Center.

Here I am freakin hauling mad ass up the side.

Steve's weak attempt to hang with the big boys.

Pi and Smit rocking the house.

Steve. Smit. MJ.

This is how Ugly Piyum sleeps. I swear.

Mystery object on my floor. Tasted like rancid hot dog.

September 10, 2002
Holy crap.Hot James is going to be on MTV. Yes, you heard it right.... he will be on the show "I Bet You Will" for attempting to chug 3 bottles of corn syrup for 50 bucks. Oh hell yes Hot James. As for me and Steve, we spent 4 hours standing in the sun and now I am exhausted and sunburnt but we should be on TV too because we were in front yelling... Steve even got interviewed and when a kid had a Star Wars sword Steve yelled "Use the force!" and the cameraman frickin loved it!! Awesome man... just frickin awesome. I videotaped the whole thing so come over and watch if you want. So how did Hot James fare? Hmmm... well not to give it away, but let's just say he vomited. HAHAHAHAAH. I will let you know when the episode will air. Sometime in the next few weeks. How is Hot James doing now? Well, I am lucky enough to share a bathroom with him. And now we are out of toilet paper. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA. Here's a quote from Hot James himself,"Maybe I should put some burn cream in my balloon knot because my ass is on fire." Yummy. In other news, Steve and I invested in an electric scooter. Yes, that's right. No longer will we be two castrated guys walking up ISAT hill. We will be two castrated guys frickin scooting past all the walkers going up ISAT hill. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, and apparently I am a sick fuck because I asked which Olsen twin was hotter. I got 8 votes for Mary Kate, 8 for MJ, and 1 for Ashley. Why only 1 for Ashley? THEY LOOK THE EXACT SAME. And 10 voted me a sick fuck. Thanks. Time to run. Peeeeeeeeeace.
-Smitty Smith-

Note- Yes, I realize I have no pictures of Hot James drinking the syrup or puking. My good friend Anne brought that to my attention. You have to see the video to see him actually drink syrup and vomit. Gosh. Sorry I can't please some people. I mean crap.

Hot James and the host.

The host and Hot James.

The James Hot and host.

James host the and Hot.

The host and the host's bitch holding an umbrella for him.

The Official I Bet You Will Corn Syrup bottle.

Dammit Hot James. We are out of TP AGAIN.

September 8, 2002
Okay maybe this time my computer will not freeze. Yesterday I was working on the most kickass update to date but then my computer froze and I lost it all. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Man oh man. Well crap I forgot what the bulk of it was. Thursday night we had a few people over to play pong and watch football and stack beer cans on top of each other. I didn't get to bed until 3:30 and I had class on Friday at 8 and 9 am. Shawing. I am not going to do that again. Friday night, James, Steve, and I were walking to a party and we saw three guys walking towards us on the sidewalk. Neither group wanted to lose their status of being on the sidewalk so Steve accidently bumped into the big jacked guy. And I thought I knew one of them so I turned around to make a doubletake and the big jacked guy said "WHAT THE FUCK YOU LOOKIN AT?" You know, the only words meatheads use. Then Steve ran up to him and busted him in the face and then licked the blood off his fingers and they ran like the little bitches that they are. Note to all the freshmen with hardass attitudes... lose them. You are not a big bad senior anymore. Basically, you are my bitch. I will eat you then vomit you out then Steve will eat you again. Because we are that crazy. Yesterday, Steve and I played James, Piyum, and Phil in beach volleyball. We whooped ass. 2 versus 3. First game we won. Second game was only us two versus Piyum and Phil because James had to drop a deuce. We won again. Then we lost to the three of them by 2 points. Then we picked up a bystander and it was 3 on 3 and my team lost again. In the end, we had lots of fun and we learned a lot about teamwork and friendship. :) And how I am really really good at volleyball. Then last night we went to a party and another fight took place. Some old guy was threatening to cut everyone's balls off. It rocked. It appears that James has won the poll. James is hotter than Piyum. Which means James can get more girls than Piyum. Especially with his no-eye contact skills. I am working on my secret project that will be released shortly. You will love it. I promise. Enjoy the pictures.
-Smitty Smith-

Scully, Billiams, Hot James, and Ed.

I'm giving what you asked for people. Here's HOT JAMES!

The bottom of my badass sandals say CHOMP. So whenever I step in sand or feces, I will leave my mark.

Stine, Amanda, Joy, and Stupid Slut.

Crazy Angel.

Hello Pete.

Hello Anne.


Hello Ashley, Alison, and Megan.

Mike finishing up the beeramid.

Billiams, MJ, Jen, and Ed.

MJ and Megan.

MJ and Lauren.

Steve playing his flute under Piyum's door.

Steve and James tying belts from Piyum's door to the bathroom door to lock Piyum in.

Steve finishing up the job.

Piyum's door.

Hello Steve.

Piyum your friend is at the door. HAHAHAHA NOT! GOOD LUCK GETTING OUT FAGBOY!!

September 4, 2002
Kelly Clarkson sucks. I'm sorry Justin, YOU are my American Idol. I like your fro, bro. It's just to show how America really is racist and always hatin on the brotha. Justin, I really love how all your songs sound the exact same while Kelly showed her variety of skills. I really love the way that you kept your composure even when nobody voted for you. Even when they interviewed the judges and they all picked Kelly. Even when they all made nice comments to Kelly like "You sang your butt off Kelly." and "You make grown men cry, and make little boys want to be grown men." And all you got was "Uhh Justin you were great." And don't think you will follow in the footsteps of the Survivor losers who got booted off and yet still manage to get some kind of career in showbiz. You got the boot and now you will fall into a deep depression everytime you hear Kelly's single "A Moment Like This" on the radio. Just remember you gave it your all even when your all wasn't enough. But give me a call Justin and maybe we can hang out or you can teach me how to suck at singing or something. ANYWAYS, I went to the thrift store in Harrisonburg today and it rocked hard. I got a new shirt AND sandals. Oh yes. James is kicking ass with his site again. Check it out... but don't forget about me. :(. Here are some more pictures.
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Here is my breakfast. Eggs, cheese, and hot dogs. Or is that vomit?

Picture of a moth that Steve took!!


Hello Smitty. (like Hello Kitty, but Smitty. LOL!!).

James working on his site.

Topless Piyum for all the ladies and curious adolescent boys.

James and Piyum last year.

Us four and Phil Smiley. Hi Phil. Yes, I know you've seen this picture but I wanted to have many pictures of Pi and James so you could decide for yourself who is hotter for the vote. So quit bitching.

September 2, 2002
Hello. Holy crap another update in 2 days. Good golly mcnolly. Just wanted to say that every single frickin one of you peoples need to be in the official chat room. Well, you have to have AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) to access the badass chat. Then go to smithappenschat48. We kept this up all last year and we have just brought it back up. And once you are in, you can NEVER leave. I'm serious. Come by and say hello. There's always peoples in there talking about frickin badass stuff. Holy crap I just figured out how to put a link here so you can just click on it and go directly TO THE CHAT!!!!!!!!!! So you no longer have to invite yourself. I am also working on a little side project that will help all of JMU students.. and then once it becomes enormously popular, we will think about spreading out across the world. But I promise big things very soon. Some of you know what it is, but more of you don't. HAHAHAHAAHAHA. Right Pete, right? HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA. So if any of you want to fund my project (and I guarantee you will not be disappointed), then hit me up dog. Time to eat. Once again, send me your pictures, links, questions, feedback, or hate mail to me. NOW.
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Steve grilling out on the deck. But don't tell anyone or it's a hundred dollar fine!! HAHAHAAH! No, really don't tell.

James sitting on the couch. Hi Mike.

I don't have any pictures of the couch without James on it.

Piyum, Smitty, and you guessed it.. James on the couch.

Hello Erin and Angel.

Erin saying hello back.