June 30, 2002
Wow, what a week. Give me a minute to catch my breath. Where should I begin? The TV watching... or the sleeping until noon? I'll start with el televisor. Law & Order is on 24 hours. That works. The Cell is a freakin twisted movie. And by freakin twisted I mean mad cool. And twisted. I went with my father to see The Bourne Identity. I thought it sucked. But maybe since we were the only people in the theater, we weren't influenced by other people's reactions. Either way, I left the theater dumber for having seen that movie. Back to the television... I watched Down to You on the Love Channel. Freddie Prinze Jr. is a little bitch. That's that. I fall asleep watching tv. Then I sleep until noon. Then I watch tv again. Rinse. Repeat. I did enjoy hanging out with the fam. We frequented the Canaserega Hardware and Coffee company. That place is exquisite. So if you are ever lost in upstate NY, be sure to check it out. It's on Main Street. The only street. I took lots of pictures with the new cam. Enjoy.

Main Street. All of it.

The market. Super.

I'm on the tank. I'm on the tank. Nannar nannar.

Pretty bird. Stomped to death.

Canaserega jail.

Benefits of working for VDOT - Free paint. It's sad, but seriously true.

There's a plane in the backyard. Say whaaa?

Oh, if you need anything from the store, just call us. Convenient.

We are on our way to my other grandma's town. Hi tractor.

The paperboy. The fifty year old, balding, smoking, topless paperboy.

I feel safe knowing that the town cop lives across the street.

The Arkport jail.

Friendly neighbors.

Nice mow job.

My uncle raises miniature horses. Aka midget horses.

Another midget horse.

Midget horse baby.

A neighboring town with it's World Famous Living Sign. It says 'Canisteo' in pine trees. In the Guinness Book. I shit you not.

Another town. Home of the one and freakin only BILL PULLMAN!!

Smittie's Soft Pretzels on the way back home.

We stopped in Gettysburg on the way home. Here I am in the exact spot where good old Abe made his Gettysburg Address. I smell jealousy.


Back in Bidness
June 23, 2002
Today I purchased a digital camera. Next to graduating 5th grade, today is the happiest day of my life. Now I can take pictures of anybody... AND anything I frickin want to. Shoot, I don't even care if you don't want me to take your picture, I will take it anyway! There's no stopping me. Below are some pictures that I've taken. They are amazingly badass. Tomorrow I leave for New York. No, not THAT New York. Upstate New York. Population negative forty. One store. One stop light. One bar. One monkey. I will be there for a week. But keep in mind that I have my camera with me. I will have loads of pics to share with all you mofo's. Aiight. Ya heard. Keep it real.


Here am I.

Here Sam is.

World's largest earthworm.

Remember kids, safety is more important than style. Sike.

June 18, 2002
Hello. It's been fifteen days since I have done anything to my site. Sorry ladies. I haven't had time or the urge to update it since I came home for the summer. Do not worry for I shall keep up with it when I get back. Oh smell yes. Hmm... I've been working every day. Gives me something to do besides wasting my summer away petting my neighbor's hamster. I just got out of the shower. Well, more like a bath. I put it on shower, then I clog up the drain. Then once all the dirt and filth and bird shit is showered off my pale, boyish body, I sit down and loathe in it. What else. Sam (from Green Eggs and Sam) and I made smithappens.com tee-shirts. If you would like a shirt, send me some money and a shirt. They are amazing. Check out the rest of the site. The menu is on the LEFT. AND SIGN THE EFFIN BOOK.

-Smat Dogg

Here is the official smithappens.com tee-shirt model. He is wearing a white tee-shirt. The two official smithappens.com designs are on tan and light blue shirts. The tan one says smithappens.com on the front. The blue one says DEAL WITH IT on the front, and smithappens.com on the back. Totally freakin brilliant. The shirt above looks nothing like the smithappens.com shirts.

June 3, 2002
Hey!!!! It's me again. This is the third time I have updated this in about a week. Oh smell yes. Did anybody see the highlights from the Holyfield vs Rahman fight? Well, if you didn't... I have pictures below of Rahman's badass hematoma. Holyfield headbutted that fothermucker. Oh smell yes. And he won. Check out the sweet pics of Rahman's head... along with other hematomas!!!!! I'm working on other things, but will not be put up quite yet. Well, not really. Check it.

It's a beauty.


The anatomy of a hematoma. If you didn't know, a hematoma is a massive collection of blood due to injury.

A handatoma.

A kneeatoma.

An armpitatoma.

A dogatoma.

A badass view of the hematoma in the brain. Wow, I just got hungry.

Rat a tat tap dat ass
June 1, 2002
Hellooo Ladies. This will be a real short note. Just wanted to say that I've added a new page for Green Eggs and Sam. (GAS). Check for the link on the menu on the left. I start work on Monday... I will be taping up windows and doors and shit so I make them airtight. I figure I will make about $5,000 in June and July. So I finally will be able to afford that platinum chain with them diamonds in it and that matching Benz with them windows tinted. Oh yes. Here is the complete series of the Peep Hole pics. CHECK OUT GAS ON THE LEFT!!