of the Day (Pick one, all gross.)
Today's Word: Jelly Donut. (Thanks to whoever sends these
in, I appreciate it. You are saving three minutes of my
life by using three minutes of your life. Thanks for saving
My all-time favorite Internet clip is now available in
a remix, which turns out to be pretty catchy. I burned
the song on CD to blast through my car speakers while
I blare my whistle tips. WOO!
Bilson as The Vixen
Hollywood's hottest hottie dresses up as a domanatrix.
That's one girl I would let whip me into a pulp. THANK
YOU MAY I HAVE ANOTHER.
Shoots Self After Breakup
I can't tell if this is 100% real but if it is, it's fucking
tragic. Don't click unless you really want to see somebody
biting the bullet.
Kapowski - Cheerleading Again!
I believe this will be the final Kelly clip for awhile.
I'll put together a page for tomorrow with all 10 clips
that I've posted. YOU'RE WELCOME.
A hardhitting below-the-belt advertising campaign. Or
more like some skank in granny panties bending over in
public. Both work for me.
Isn't this what all girls do when they get together for
a slumber party? Right?! RIGHT?!!!
Game - The Slug Slayer
Awesome sand game, attack the "slug" with sand.
Who knew sand could be this much fun? THIS IS THE MOST
FUN I'VE HAD IN YEARS.
"The Impaler" Sharkey
This guy is running for governor of Minnesota. He is a
Satanic Dark Priest, Sanguinarian Vampyre and a Hecate
Witch. He promises to make your life the best it's ever
Here's a good idea for a trick to play on complete strangers.
Ask somebody to take a picture of you and your girlfriend,
do this, then beat the shit out the stranger. Repeat infinite.
In the middle of transferring servers so things have
been a little screwy... Any email that was sent to me
within the past 12 hours or so is lost forever, roaming
aimlessly throughout the Internet looking for its destination
that it will never reach. Links now!
Wow what an awesome finish for Vince Young and the Longhorns.
VY is now my favorite player of all time and if he goes
to the NFL then the team he plays for will be my new favorite.
If USC had won, then I would say the same about Lendale
White, but that didn't happen because they suck so badly,
right?! LINKS COMING!
O'Reilly on Letterman
"I'm not smart enough to debate you point to point
on this, but I have the feeling that about 60 percent
of what you say is crap."
UFC Knockouts of 2005
Now here is a recap for real men, the top KO's of the
Ultimate Fighting Championship put to the soundtrack
by the Bell : I'm So Excited
The most famous quote from the best show in the history
of television. (Because every high school student went
through a period of experimenting with caffeine.)
Girl Video of the Day: Aylar
Got this email shortly after I posted this: "Shes
from Norway. Shes the one that starred in 3 or 4 pornos
in the U.S then returned to Norway and claimed it was
her sister. Ha ha."
NYE in DC was a blast, couldn't have asked for a better
time. Hope everyone had an awesome time and have not already
failed at keeping their resolutions. I still do not have
any kind of updating script running, so I manually made
a page of last week's links here. Lots of
big things coming your way in the 06!
Welp this is the last post of 2005 and it's gonna be a
quickie. The past few weeks have been hectic after moving
cross country the second time in five months, but big
things are coming your way for the new year! Once again,
I'm headed to D.C. this weekend for the Big
Night D.C. drunken slopfest! Have a good
one! I'm posting mainly babe links today for the Final
For the Fellas Friday of 2005!
I swear there's a site out there that has lots of pictures
of user's stuff for sale, and the user's stuff discretely
reflecting off shiny objects.
Girl Video of the Day: Nyli Tanning
Return of the webcam girl! This time our favorite Nyli
is not dancing to crappy music, she's laying in a tanning
bed to crappy music. And what sweet, sweet crappy music
Game: Christmas Mini-Golf
Mini-Golf has been on the Internet since Al Gore invented
it, but here's another challenging version. The only thing
Christmasy about it is the intro music and the yellow
Girls Making Out
Yet another hot girl video, today has turned into a girl
vid fest... I guess nobody can complain about that! Unless
you're a girl, gay, or one of these girls fathers.
Gear: Spyker C8
This is a car made for the typical badass, and I'm not
sure what Top Gear is but this clip is pretty awesome
DIY: Sod Couch
Now this is fucking cool. I am getting more and more excited
about these DIY links, I think I post them for my sake
so I can be called the DIY GUY.
Big news kiddies, it's almost time to unveil and unwrap the new and improved Smithappens.com! This coming Monday, September the Twelfth of Two Thousand and Five, I kindly request your presence (presents) at this URL while you are beginning the first day of your neverending work week slaving for the man.
NEW THINGS TO LOOK FOR:
More FRESH content. That means daily updates of random entertaining videos, photographs of scantily clad women, links that would get you fired if you worked for the Anti-AHREF federation, Flash cartoons, and wild-and-crazy Omar Gooding style games to distract you from the monotony of your cubicle.
DAILY (workday because IT'S FOOTBALL SEASON) written updates! Whether that means a 4 line run-on sentence explaining the new media I just uploaded, or a sporadic heartfelt plead to end women's suffrage, there will be SOMETHING to read. And that's all that matters.
MORE Interactivity. Users will now be encouraged and pressured against their will to SubSmit links, photos, videos, flash, or spyware to hijack my computer and rendering me useless. NOW MORE THAN EVER.
EASIER Accessible! To reach a broader audience, this site will unveil the patented Internet Braille system, the first and last of its kind! Blind fogies will now be able to feel their monitor's pixels protrude from the screen and finally be able to join the normal, regular people and appreciate everything this site offers! (Note: This technology will make ALL monitors warp, so this is just a fair warning so you are not creeped out. There is no way to distinguish blindies from normalies. HEY FUCK OFF WHINER, AT LEAST YOU CAN SEE.)
NEW AND IMPROVED OLDIES:
For the Fellas! This is quite a massive hit on this site, sparking riots in middle school locker rooms. Of course not only will I keep it around, but now I will add MORE THAN ONE! PLUS many more pictures of the same girl.
For the Ladies! Do not think for a second I would get rid of this, the trademarked FTL. I will also expand this section as with the FTF, but I will be dedicating eight whole hours every workday to accumulate thousands of "fine" looking men for those women viewers out there. YOU'RE WELCOME
College Photo Galleries: Of course these will be listed on this site on the main pages, as these were the main inspiration for the birth of this site. You can look back and reminisce about the "good old days" in college. Also, I'm keeping them so my friends won't think I've sold out and forgotten about my grassroots, but really I have and they just think I haven't. JMU FOR LIFE.
Old subpages: Old fan favorites such as Freestyle Walking, LineWalking, and Mystery Jazzman will still be readily linked, just not on the very top of the page anymore. Why? Because they are three years old, and I am fat now.
So THAT, my friends, is the preview of the gigantic launch that will happen next Monday. WINKFACE.
OH! And if you want to SubSmit links to be linked on Monday, do so by filling out this cute lil form: SubSmit Links!
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