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Dec 27 2005

posted by: Smit
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R Kelly National Anthem Disgrace!
Finally! I found the video! R Kelly pisses all over American tradition with his backup dancers and encouraging people to "clap your hands" during the darkest moment in U.S. history.

Pam Anderson Gives Howard Stern Lapdance
This is one lapdance I wouldn't mind contracting hepatitis from. Well, actually nevermind, that's sick. Literally. Shut up.

Faith the 2 Legged Dog
Ahhhh, my eyes! My stomach turns every time I see this freak of nature prancing around... AHHHHHH.

Frat House Bunny Foo Foo
Oh those crazy frat "brothers" and their manginas. NSFW.

Daily Bullz-Eye Girl: Alexia

Girl Video of the Day: Making Out
Compilation of girls from the show The "L" word making out. NSFW.

Slang of the Day
Today's Word: Webcest.
Example: "You don't get STDs from Webcest, but you should."

Daily DIY: Coke Can Fire
If you ever happen to be stranded in the woods with a can of Coke and a chocolate bar, use this to make a tiny ass fire to keep your fat ass warm and more hungry.

Young Shakira in a Bikini
Yesterday I posted this Shakira clip bending her legs behind her head, and a couple days before that I posted a Young Aniston in a bikini. YOU'RE WELCOME.

Dec 26 2005

posted by: Smit
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I hope Christmas was as great for everybody as it was for me. I got the usual for presents: clothes, money, DVD's, books, and most importantly MASSAGING SLIPPERS. They are no marshallow shooter, but they get the job done. Updating now!

Webcam Girl Video of the Day: Whip Cream!
I would be all over this if I wasn't so damn lactose intolerant.

Shakira is Flexible Video
Shakira puts her legs behind her head and her foot in her mouth and your hands in your pants.

Danwho's Bleach Face
My college roommate grew a beard for two months and bleached it three times to look like Santa. Here's the gallery.

Tan Lines from Typical Summer Activities
I am the guy second from the right and damn proud of it!

Slang of the Day
Today's Word: Funt.
Example: "Omg, Michael is such a funt."

AllProModels Babe: Nikki

Sexy Funny Commercial
Can anybody honestly tell me that they wouldn't chase this girl?

Daily DIY: Solar Powered Pizza Oven
Build a flaming inferno from that old pizza box you use as a pillow.

Falling Down the Escalator
Hhahahaha good gracious, this fall's bodacious.

Arm Wrestling Girls Kiss
All girls should dabble in lesbianism.

Baby Animals Gallery!
The largest collection of tiny baby animals that I've ever seen.

Dec 21 2005

posted by: Smit
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Two days until Christmas, what do you guys want? Enter the contest for the Triumph the Insult Dog DVD and give it to your least favorite sibling! Updating now!

Webcam Girl Video of the Day: Christmas!
Christmas comes a little early this year, and so will you.

Vida Guerra in Hot Tub
Who is this guy and how can I be him? My speakers aren't working so I have no idea what is said in the video, but really, I think I like it better that way.

Bullz-Eye Girl of the Day: Tiffany

Osama bin Laden's Niece in GQ
Okay, what the fuck. While she has nothing to do with the man, I don't imagine this will go over very well in the terrorist community.

Compilation: When Animals Attack
Nothing I like more than seeing animals getting revenge on humans.

Girls 1 on 1 PART 2!
Lots of hot drunk bishes making out and posing for the camera. YOU'RE WELCOME.

World's Fastest Cup Stacker Girl
Pretty freakin sweet skilled chick with a pretty freakin sweet worthless record.

Slang of the Day
Today's Word: Puto

Daily DIY: Toga
Finally you idiots will learn how to make a real toga rather than throwing on a dirty skidmarked sheet.

Strip Twister Gone Wrong
Warning, this is disgusting and kinda funny and probably the oldest picture on the Internet.

Camera Phone Watch
I remember the dorks in grade school had the watches with calculators. Now it's even easier to spot the dweebs and beat the crap out of them.

Year in Review: News Quiz
How much do you really know about what went on this year? Probably nothing since most of my visitors are Alzheimers's patients.

Kid's Crappy Christmas Gifts
"I'm no longer accepting junk gifts from little kids any more. This will save me the time of just having to throw it away later."

Dec 21 2005

posted by: Smit
Myspace - Facebook - Advertise

Received some entries for the gaming contest, plenty of opportunity to win free stuff! Coming soon is a chance to win iPod Videos and Shuffles! Enter now!

CONTEST! Dog Balloon Game
Top 5 scores sent in by Friday will get loads of stuff from Purina: shirt, hat, dog leash, dog bowl, but better yet... The Best of Triumph the Insult Dog's DVD! Click now for more details!

Webcam Girl Video of the Day: Nyli
Hottie with only the body, you never see her face... which means she's either A.) Ugly as shit. B.) Scared to show her face on the Net. C.)A man. Hey, that's what paper bags are for!

Jessica Alba's Hidden Talent
I bet this ability comes in handy when she's all alone thinking of me. I think I'll make these random celebrity clips a daily thing, too. ;-D

Reno 911: Wiggers
Perhaps my all-time favorite sketch from the show. White guys frontin' like they got culture are just asking to be made fun of.

Classic Windows 1.0 Infomercial
Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer in this funny commercial to sell the first version of Windows for only $99! What's also funny is that 1.0 is the best version to date.

AllProModels Babe Vicky Vette
Stop reading and click!

Slang of the Day
Today's Word: Ufia. I think the funniest definition is the 'Uneventful Friday in Alaska' and I don't know why. Sigh. HAHAHAHA. Ha... hmph.

Stung in the Vag
News reporter is rudely disrupted by a hornet that flies up her skirt. In related news, check out the dog biting vag video I posted a couple months ago.

Daily DIY: Electric Unicycle
Quite a hefty investment but definitely worth it to swoon those superficial chicks who dig guys with a nice set of wheel.

Soundboard: Chris Griffin
The only one on the 'net! BOOOOBIES!

Game: Bend It Like Beckham
This game rocks. Too bad I suck at it and it takes fucking forever, and I think things that I suck at and take forever definitely rock.

Dec 21 2005

posted by: Smit
Myspace - Facebook - Advertise

Apparently some fucks are trying to hack my updating script and I can't login to it, but I can still update the old way. YEEEHAW. Working... now!

CONTEST! Dog Balloon Game
Top 5 scores sent in by Friday will get loads of stuff from Purina: shirt, hat, dog leash, dog bowl, but better yet... The Best of Triumph the Insult Dog's DVD! Click now for more details!

SNL: Lower Back Tattoo Remover
Hahahhaha yes! Finally a product designed to get rid of tramp stamps when the girls our age finally grow up to raise their seven kids from eight different fathers.

A Young Jennifer Aniston in a Bikini
An old hot clip of Jennifer posing for a photoshoot in the pool. IT'S ALSO FUNNY PERVS.

Bullz-Eye Girl of the Day: Mariana

I See Your Camel Toe Music Video
Hilarious parody of the Beach Boy's song "Kokomo." All about women wearing tight pants. Probably NSFW. Thanks to Rick for sending it in!

Flying's Worst Nightmare
Very clever commercial for Princess Cruise Lines. Watch to the very end!

Designated Gay Parking
This is probably designed to show a gimp in motion in getting out of a wheelchair, but I think it's three dude gimps grinding on each other.

Politically Correct Christmas
I never really understood the hype behind Larry the Cable Guy's jokes, but this clip is somewhat funny. "Git R Done" is somewhat stupid.

Braille Porn
Did you know that a lot of websites must be accessible for everyone, including the blind, by law? No? Ok, here's some Braille Porn for ya.

Slang of the Day
Today's Word: Pugwash. (Multiple definitions, but all equally disgustingly funny.)

Daily DIY: Natural Swimming Pool
I'm having trouble deciding if this is P-I-M-P or just N-A-S-T-Y S-T-A-G-N-A-N-T P-O-N-D

Sep 22 2005

Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Smit List
posted by: Smit
Myspace - Facebook - Advertise

Milady flew into town last night from Virginia so we are just maxin and relaxin', about to hit up the pool for the first time since I've moved out to sunny and hot Arizona. Bout damn time because no longer will I be pasty pale and fat, but sunburnt and fat. SEXY BEBBIE. I'll post more stuff today and tomorrow but for now I've compiled a list of ideologies for all the followers of this site. Which one are you?!!!!!!!!!

Taoism: Smit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Smit happens."
Buddhism: If smit happens, it isn't really smit.
Zen Buddhism: Smit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of smit happening?
Hinduism: This smit has happened before.
Islam: If smit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2: If smit happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam #3: If smit happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism: If smit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let smit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This smit was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It's not so bad if smit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist: It's not so bad if smit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist: Smit that happens to one person is just as good as smit that happens to another.
Unitarian: Smit that happens to one person is just as bad as smit that happens to another.
Lutheran: If smit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If smit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2: If smit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Fundamentalism #3: Smit must be born again.
Judaism: Why does this smit always happen to us?
Calvinism: Smit happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism: No smit shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism: God made all smit.
Secular Humanism: Smit evolves.
Christian Science: When smit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
Christian Science #2: Smit happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this smit.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this smit.
Utopianism: This smit does not stink.
Darwinism: This smit was once food.
Capitalism: That's MY smit.
Communism: It's everybody's smit.
Feminism: Men are smit.
Chauvinism: We may be smit, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism: Let's package this smit.
Impressionism: From a distance, smit looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this smit.
Existentialism: Smit doesn't happen; smit IS.
Existentialism #2: What is smit, anyway?
Stoicism: This smit is good for me.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good smit happening!
Mormonism: God sent us this smit.
Mormonism #2: This smit is going to happen again.
Wiccan: An it harm none, let smit happen.
Scientology: If smit happens, see "Dianetics" p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Smit happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our smit?
Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Smit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies: Only really happy smit happens.
Hare Krishna: Smit happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this smit!
Zoroastrianism: Smit happens half on the time.
Church of SubGenius: BoB smits.
Practical: Deal with smit one day at a time.
Agnostic: Smit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2: Did someone smit?
Agnostic #3: What is this smit?
Atheism: What smit?
Atheism #2: I can't believe this smit!
Nihilism: No smit.

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