Hi you big fat HOMO! I know I said I would update, but once again I was overcome with laziness. I will this weekend sometime, really. I mean, REALLY. To tide you over, enjoy some drawings by Katign. TTYT.
OH HEY LADIES! As you can see, the site is back up. It shouldn't be down for a loooong time now. Anyways, expect a whole new look and more stuff to come now that I don't have to worry about bandwidth and all that pimp shit. I'll get to that soon mofo. CYA BYE.
Fock you Smitty you're gunna spend the night... OUTSIDE! I just got
back from our intramural basketball game, which we lost by 20. Since
I have no car, I almost stayed home to put on my nighty and curl up
in a ball and make some hot chocolate and and watch Joe Millionaire
instead of worrying about finding a ride, but once again St. Janet
came to the rescue. I don't know what I would do without her...truck. Jaykay.
Anyways, back to the game. I haven't played basketball in years, and
it shows. I had two airballs and about five of my shots blocked.
It's so frustrating and embarassing for sucking so bad. I didn't
think it was possible to grow progressively worse as I play. And all
the opponents say to me "Dudeman, you suck really bad," and I say
"Well at least I have a website," and that usually shuts them right
This past Saturday night was perhaps one of the greatest nights of
all time. The roommates, Danwho, and I could not decide what to
do... so we watched Animal Planet. Well, actually it was just Danwho
and I who actually cared about it. Anyways, the first show was about
amazing animal oddities... which consisted half of deformed animals
and the other half of animals that were friends with other animals.
For example, a crow and a cat were best friends. A cat nursed a
litter of puppies. A golden retriever made out with a coy. Straight
out of a Disney movie. Infrickincredible. The next show was Pet
Star, an animal talent show hosted by none other than Mario Lopez
himself. More like an animal nontalent show. I couldn't believe
what I was seeing. A pig that chews on the edge of a paintbrush and
it makes it go up and down and barely strokes the canvas is
considered a talent? AND she was from my hometown. That explains
it. Anyways, we never went out because animal oddities came on again
and we just had to see it again. And now for your viewing pleasure, I
went out today and took pictures of all the deformed animals in
Harrisonburg. Here is a sample.
If you wish to see all of the deformed animals that I found go here.
Hmm... There is a bump on my thumb. At first I thought it was a
blister, but after several failed attempts to pop it, I realized that
it is a wart. I tried to take pictures of it so I could share it
with you guys, but apparently my camera is not good enough to focus
in on warts. I then tried to draw a smiley face on it, but once
again the camera did not pick it up. Here are two pictures for
you... really crappy, and you can't really tell I have a wart, but
you're just gunna have to take my word for it.
Here is where I will post user submitted pictures... I got a fan
picture from Jeremy W. Bush.
Horray. I also got a lovely Peeing
Mexicans drawing from Rafal. His description "three of them
peeing, the one in the middle is telling a joke. the others are
laughing." Pure brilliance.
And finally, if you want to see a picture of Haley Joel Osment and a
penis submitted by Jeff, click here.
First and foremost, check out Jarkey.net. All your college humor, games, entertainment, life, pictures, essays, alcohol related stuff all crammed in one great site. A must for anyone who has even heard of a college.
Next up is SilverSow. The leading website in everything. Brilliant.
It sure smells like up dog in here. What's up dog? Oh, sup dude. Guess what. The Anti Haley Joel Osment situation is only getting better. All of James Madison University is banned from Haley-Joel-Osment.com. Once again, I apologize for that. Oh, and about the guy who is threatening to hack my site, he is more pissed than ever. I managed to get into his email and his forum account and edit some stuff. He is not very happy wif me. Blush face. So he is threatening to kill me and stuff, so if my site goes down, you can thank him. I swear these Haley Joel fans are a little uptight. The short time that I was able to browse the forums, I noticed some very odd things. These people are writing poetry about how they wish they were with Haley Joel and they only dream of seeing his "cobalt blue eyes." These aren't any simple roses are red poems, but deep, obsessively written works of crap. And there was a topic about if you could have a robot like Haley Joel portrayed in the movie A.I. They were talking about how that would be the greatest thing in the world, and they would pay an unlimited amount of money just to have a robot that would "love me." Are you kidding me? Good thing I got out while I did.
Other than that shizzle, I haven't really been doing much except spending hours on hours at the library. I went to pick up the Pimpo on Friday way out in the middle of nowhere. Pete drove me 20 miles out into the country to the auto shop. I paid my 42 dollars and got in my car. Click. Click. Click. Mutherfocker. I went back inside and told them my car didn't start. He came outside and did a bunch of tests and said, "Welps, you're gunna need a starter." Asswipe. So I haven't had a car for two weeks, and it doesn't look like I'll be having one for awhile. Thanks to everybody who has been giving me rides. And St. Janet.
What is the deal with athletic jerseys? I see too many homies and unathletic people donning jerseys of different athletes, most commonly Michael Vick. Even though he is my favorite player in the NFL, I would not be caught dead wearing a jersey. Why, you ask? Most people I see wearing a jersey are not even close to being half the caliber of the athlete's jersey they are wearing. For instance, say you are at a basketball court. A kid comes up wearing a Shaq jersey, so the initial thought is "Wow, this kid must be decent like Shaq." Well, little does the kid know is that he is setting himself up for disappointment. The kid plays and is absolutely horrible. Even if the kid is decent, he can't touch Shanille O'Queal. So, everyone is pissed at the kid because he they thought he would be sweet due to his attire. They are more pissed at him now than if he had not worn any type of jersey in the first place. So, you can never win if you are wearing a jersey, especially a Laker jersey. Here are some more fools wearing jerseys.
That kid is not a Texas Ranger and never will be. Also, the little kid in the store can have any pick of jerseys and I guarantee I can still kick his ass.