Yeah I'm rollin down Rodeo wit a shotgun
It's been months or even years or even never, depends on how you look at it, since I have really put forth any real effort into writing something for this site. Now that I'm home for Christmas break, most of my time is spent sleeping, taking shots of jager with my boy Sam back from the Army, Christmas shopping at malls with busted sewage pipes and puking out the side of the car, watching DVD's on my new Apple G4 Powerbook, or driving my new Isuzu Rodeo. AKA time spent away from my parent's PC which is plagued with bad luck and spyware. My digital camera is a piece of shit so I can't go around taking pictures. I would like a new one, thanks. Since I want it to appear that I update on a semiregular basis, I am presenting you two sets of pictures. Here is the first one:
Here is a picture that hangs in my dining room here at my parent's house. Since my digital camera is busted and is for sale (serious inquiries only), I scanned the closest picture I could find. The black and white picture on the left is my Grandpa Smith, my dad's dad when he was a child, and the picture on the right is me, my dad's son when I was a child. What's neat about these pictures is that my grandfather and I have the same exact birthday, September 27th. Oh, and it's the same tree.
The second set of pictures are some nice Britney Spears shots that I felt like I should share, because she is hot and it's a cheap way to make guests like me.
There you go, and enjoy. You can choose to either believe me and stand by me, or you can just give up and die, but my New Year's resolution is stop being so fucking lazy and neglecting this site. That's what I said last year, but this year I mean it. No, really.
Posted by Smit at 11:42 AM
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JMU Picture Galleries!
I put up three galleries of pictures that Mike took (the one in the cowboy hat playing the guitar). I think it's about time I bring Smithappens.com back to the people and display my friends for the entire world to see!
I didn't bother with captions so here's a brief summary. It snowed. Beer was drank. Dizzy bat was played. Mike got in boxers outside. Shaun was wasted in his 1990's neon sweatshirt. Mike played cowboy one night. The same night he and Alli had a punch-off. The keg was secretly kept outside disguised as a snowman. Security and police had no idea. Angel wrote his name in urine. Angel took a picture next to his name. More pictures were taken but are withheld from your eyes due to too much nudity and confidential stuff happening. HAHA.
Here I present you the galleries!
Posted by Smit at 07:09 PM
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With the upcoming Holiday season fastly approaching, there's no better way to spend your valuable money and your worthless time than by shopping for gifts that you know everyone will hate. So instead of sitting in traffic at the local shopping mall, I suggest you use the internet to purchase your gifts. And what better place than to get a good deal while you're at it? (No, I am not getting any money from this, it's just a damn good site.)
takes prices from all over the online marketplace to bring you the best deals! So this saves you money AND time. Money and time that you can spend running around and telling kids that Santa is not real, it's just a nasty lie that their parents have told them all their lives.
Posted by Smit at 11:09 PM
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Battle of the Autoresponders!
Due to the insane amount of spam email sent to my previous email address at email@example.com, I decided I was not going to put up with it anymore. I never get any valuable emails anymore, (well a few exceptions... I added 3 inches length and 2 inches girth to my manhood) and I made a new email address. But before I disclose my new email addy, I set up an auto-responder on the smit account to tell those who are sending my legitimate email to send to my new account. I figured I would keep that up and then eventually take down the account altogether. All would be smooth sailing, for I have just beaten the system once more. However, as the unsolicited mails kept rolling in like usual, I was bombarded with "failure to deliver email" messages that my autoresponder attempted to send to those slycat spammers using false return addresses. Bah. No big deal, I'll have to tweak that.
Then it happened. IT. Apparently one of my replies to a bulk emailer was picked up by their auto-responder. So of course, mine responded. Then theirs responded. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. NEVERENDING LOOP OF RESPONSES.
So there you have it, my attempt at solving my junk mail problem turned out to blow up in my face. I guess I will have to deal with it until I close the account together. However, not all bad came out of this. Apparently I was the lucky chosen one by a Nigerian businessman to inherit an enormous fortune!! Take that, suckers.
My new email is email AT smithappens.com. (Yes, you subsititute @ for AT. Fucking pagan savages.)
Go to Ban This.com and UGotGames.com. Whew.
Posted by Smit at 09:07 PM
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EARTHQUAKE OF 2003
I was sitting in my Economics class awaiting the professor to arrive and hand out the course final when my next seat neighbor pal Brad asked,"Is the ground moving, or is it just me?" I felt the slight rumble and figured it was the kid behind me erasing something really hard and shaking my desk. THEN IT HIT ME. THE PROFESSOR DIDN'T HAND OUT ANYTHING TO ERASE YET. SURELY WE MUST BE EXPERIENCING AN EARTHQUAKE. Bah, never. I took the 56 question final within an hour and hopped in the Pimpo to drive back to my apartment. James and his Smitty-sized head asked me if I had felt the earthquake. I was dumbfounded because surely he must be shitting me. Yes, Virginia there is not a Santa Claus, and that was definitely an earthquake. People are clogging up the 911 emergency phone lines with reports of shaking windows and stillborn babies. Here's a report from the local news website:
Central Virginia got a jolt this afternoon as an earthquake shook the area. Just before 4pm, rumbles were felt from Hampton Roads to Richmond to Washington, D.C. and Maryland. The National Earthquake Information Center in Colorado confirmed an earthquake of a magnitude 4.5 shortly before 4pm. The center is attempting to determint the extent of the disturbance. The epicenter was located in Northern Powhatan.
Virginia's Department of Emergency Management is collecting reports from jurisdictions around the state. It has NO reports of damages or injuries.
At the Virginia State capitol, workers officials and reporters scrambled from the building after about 10 seconds of rumbling so pronounced that the walls and windows could be seen shaking.
Outside the capitol people huddled in small clusters. The same scene could be found around downtown Virginia.
Pretty fucking crazy, eh? I have now lived through tornados, hurricanes, blizzards, severe thunderstorm watches AND warnings, sleet, hail, and now earthquakes. I AM INVINCIBLE!
Posted by Smit at 05:42 PM
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The entire sports world is wrong. Except the BCS computer and me.
As I am blankly staring into my Economics textbook to study for one of my four finals this coming week and watching Mr. Excitement back and embarrassing defenses across the NFL, the only thing that keeps echoing in my James-sized brain is the constant bitching of sports announcers, sports fans, nonsports fans, and anyone else who dare display their ignorance that USC is getting the shaft out of the NCAA National Championship football game. The BCS computer algorthim never seems to satisfy the majority of dimwits, and boy do we hear about it EVERY FUCKING SEASON.
Correct me if I'm wrong, and I'm not, but shouldn't the determination of who plays in a football game be left up to proven mathematical formulas rather than the opinions of simple minded crybabies? The BCS system includes these subjective crybaby opinions in it's formula, I'll give you that. Too bad the 2 first place USC votes can't beat out two other teams. Sigh.
Yes, OU got blown out last night to eighth-ranked Kansas State. Definitely did not look like national championship contenders. Check that box in the loss column. Yep, the first one. USC has only one loss, yes I know. They are also ranked first in the nation in the Associated Press and USA Today/ESPN polls. I,too, would only have one loss with the schedule they play. Seven out of the 12 opponents they faced ended up with a nonwinning record. The team they lost to, an unranked team mind you, California squeezed by finishing with an astonishing 7-6 record. Oklahoma demolished every single one of their opponents against seven teams with winning records, including 3 top 25 teams.
If you believe that the margin of victory should be included in the BCS in hopes of USC going to Nawlins because OU got spanked while your Trojans beat a mediocre Oregon State squad this weekend, then congratulations... you're even more of an idiot. Consider yourselves lucky that margin of victory is not in the BCS computer. I wish it was for all you bitchfaces. Go ahead, leave comments and try to justify why USC deserves to taste sugar.
The BCS system is not perfect, but it's not wrong. The AP poll, USA Today/ESPN rankings, and you are.
Posted by Smit at 11:38 PM
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Come on Odie, it's Playtime!
Since I don't particularily like having another celebrity sex tape as my most recent post in fears of losing any credibility I may or may not have left, I am going to make a quick quip about one of the secrets of the interconnected system of networks that connects computers around the world via the TCP/IP protocol. Danwho and his younger brothers, David and Alex, unbeknownst to Gina and Ron, came together several years ago in the basements of Mt. Arlington. The boys would snicker about their upside down teeth while wallowing in creativity, chipping away at the blocks of conventional art to excrete some one-of-a-kind Garfield drawings. That is why I present to you: DANWHO.NET'S Garfield Drawings! Thank him for making your worldwideweb a better place.
I'm working on putting up the pictures of this past weekend's snow storm and Angel's going far, far, away to DC party. But until then, enjoy this link about me in the Village Voice. If you have no idea what that pertains to, click here.
Posted by Smit at 06:57 PM
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The Second Site
Hey, the second site is ready to rock. It's a site that I made last year with a really shitty script and really no preparation. This year, I got a friend to program the actual site for me, and I took a domain name. Keep in mind folks, this is THE ORIGINAL JMU BOOKTRADING SITE. None of that SGA cheap ripoff bullshit or that Underdog copycat garbage. Spread the word about the site. It only applies to JMU students for the time being because that's all I care about. AND THEN I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
So ladies and gentlemen, I proudly present to youJMU BOOK TRADE.COM!
CLICK TO WATCH THE PARIS TAPE FOR FREE!
Posted by Smit at 02:03 PM
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