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August 2004 archive
: August 2004 Archives

If only you could see the stranger next to me

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Yao, I'm still around. I haven't been in the updating mood lately due to a barrage of uncontrollable circumstances that even some of the closest of my friends don't even know about. Don't worry, I'll get through it all and be better off in the long run. What doesn't kill you hurts like hell and you may lose control of your bowels, but ends up making you stronger.

I got the new Jimmy Eat World album that hits stores October 19. Jim Adkins personally sent me the album along with autographed posters, hoodies, and backstage passes. This album sounds like a smooth combination of the soothing ballads of Clarity mixed in with some more upbeat rawwwwk of their previous self-titled. The first single is "Pain" which will be on the radio on October 9. I was thinking about posting some of the songs on my website, but then again I don't really want to get sued like ChokeyChicken.com did for posting the newest Taking Back Sunday album. Therefore, you will have to either wait until then or steal my car with the CD in it. I prefer the latter.

And that is all. Check out the Mindless Bullshit forums and GorillaMask for more active websites for the time being.

Posted by Smit at 11:53 PM

ASLKFLASDKFAG

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My God if I ever refresh this website and still see that lame Rick James title from my most recent post two weeks ago at the top, I am going to rip my catherer out, dump my roommate James' bedpan on my head, and reenact the disembowelling scene from Braveheart. And then take pictures and post them.

But instead I will merely post a picture of me shooting a rifle at a target 50 yards away in New York. Yes I live half a football field from the state line. I hit the bullseye dead on every time except when we played dizzy rifle and I was blindfolded.



School starts next Monday. Danwho and I have to update JMU's student newspaper's website by this coming Sunday. CRAAAAAAP! Lots of work to be done. BRB.

Posted by Smit at 05:57 PM

I'm Rick James, BIATCH! (minus the cocaine and death) RIP

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Well well, time for a little sumpin sumpin before I go away on family vacation so I can still pull off the facade as a regularly updating webmaster kind of a guy and not just be known as a deadbeat dad. First off, as you can see by looking at those numbers to your right, yes your right, not on the monitor but to the right in your actual windowless pitch black room with tally marks written in blood glowing in black light, SMITHAPPENS.COM has surpassed the 2 MILLION UNIQUE VISITOR mark. Which it is quite an accomplishment, I must say, according to any standard regarding anything in this world. I've steadily increased my site exposure and traffic so that my daily viewers have reached the 5,000+ mark. Enough trying to impress the internet nonsaavy, I've got a lot of work to do, progress to make, and more milestones to achieve before I'm satisfied.

While these past few weeks have been somewhat "dead" and "excruciatingly boring", I've managed to get by by attending random parties, reading the Da Vinci Code & Angels and Demons, watching stellar movies such as Mystic River, Bad Santa, Along Came Polly, sitting through crappy movies like The Village, going to the gym and pool, growing my beard, and sweating in my chair. I am definitely looking forward to everyone moving back in town by the time I get back next weekend. Here is a picture of my shitty, scraggly, scratchy beard.

People have moving out and ditching all types of treasures in the dumpsters like couches, ottomans, desks, tables, lamps, televisions, and fish tanks with fish still alive in it. I shit you not. My roommate Piyum found this wonderous gem of a entertainment stand table thing for our 41 inch television.

While I'm at it, I'll take a picture of my new desk and work area complete with wireless internet hooked up.

And if you've been wondering how my pet mouse is, he is still alive. While this picture of his cage which could easily pass off as a small mammal sarcophogus does not prove he is alive, you have my word that Turkey Sub has defied all odds without food and water for a period of no less than 21 days and is still thriving and dumping his water bowl on his head.

TIME FOR HOT GIRLS!

Do you remember that one girl I had for the fellas who is the hottest girl alive? Well my buddy Mark of MarkPhelan.net found me a shitload of pictures and I just had to share them with you. Her name is Elin Grindemyr and so so hot.



CLICK HER PICTURE FOR AN ENTIRE GALLERY OF 30 HOT PHOTOS!

Yesterday, I caught myself watching Price is Right and came across the hottest contestant I've seen in awhile. What ever happens to game show contestants after their little blips of fame? I'm curious to know. People might think that these contestants are simply normal people with no special talents and should not be hailed as celebrities, but come on, you're all in the wrong. These contestants have breached the barrier of normalcy to reach a level that many strive for and will never attain, only to never return again. I tried looking for a website that showcased the hottest and most talented game show contestants all in one package, but I came across none. So I took some pictures of my tv of this fine bird to share with you all. Hot Oklahoma girl game show contestant, contact me. K THX.


And my third group of females come from some place in Europe, maybe Czech or Russia, I have no idea but they sent in some fan signs. I can't complain. They are apparently affiliated with their own website at Masha World.



THANK YOU ALL GOOD NIGHT.

Posted by Smit at 08:50 PM | Comments (1100)

WWE FREAK Chyna tells X-PAC to S*CK IT

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Ex-Wrestler joins growing list of celebrity video vixens

Move over Pam Anderson and Paris Hilton! The wrestler formerly known as Chyna is muscling her way into the hardcore sex tape market!

A promoter has gotten hold of an XXX-tape starring the buffed beauty and he is making the rounds in Hollywood trying to find a distributor. The home movie shows the grappler, whose real name is Joanie Laurer, cavorting in bed with ex-fiance, wrestler Sean Waltman, a.k.a. X-Pac.

"It's a pretty hot tape," a source tells The ENQUIRER. "It was shot in an L.A.-area apartment where Joanie and Sean lived earlier this year.

"They go through different sexual positions on her big bed. Occasionally, she's decked out in a tight black vinyl outfit with a flowing cape -- kinda like something 'Chyna' would wear in the wrestling ring!

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'REALLY BIZARRE'

"There's even a segment where she puts on some leather gear and twirls swords that look straight out of 'Xena: Warrior Princess'!

"It's really bizarre!"

Joanie, 34, and Sean's romance has been pretty strange, too. They got engaged in 2002, but Joanie got a restraining order against Sean the following summer after she accused him of beating her up.

By the fall of 2003 they were back together, but soon split up after a fight in a California hotel.

'WE HAD FUN'

These days, Sean, 32, who has been in rehab for painkillers, is trying to make a wrestling comeback. Joanie, meanwhile, has been attempting to launch a music career with her band, The Chynna Dolls.

But the on-again, off-again couple still talk by phone.

Said the source, "They both laughed that the sex tape could only help their careers at this point, just like a sex tape helped Paris Hilton!

"Joanie said: 'Sean and I have been through a lot worse together. At least we had a lot of fun while making the tape!' " -- MICHAEL GLYNN

Published on: August 2, 2004

Real update to come Wednesday.

Posted by Smit at 09:56 PM
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