August 31, 2002
Hello. The first week of classes are done! So far I am acing them. Today is JMU's first football game!! Get psyched! Sike. Once again JMU is predicted to finish last in the easiest division in college football. But I have a feeling that this our year. Fuck the predictions. We will NOT finish last! We are going to invest in a funnel cake maker that we saw at Wal-Mart. It comes with enough ingredients to make 10 funnel cakes and if we sell them for 5 bucks a pop at the game then we will make about eighty dollars. That's enough to buy some more cake mix and never stop making funnel cakes. Ever. So if you want a funnel cake, send me ten dollars. To cover shipping tightwad. Is it just me or do a bunch of people trip around campus? But everyone plays it off sooo smoothly I almost can't tell it's not really a trip! Not. You just look like a huge fool playing it off. That's why I am calling for the If-You-Trip-Then-Frickin-Trip-All-The-Way Revolution. That's right. When you stub your toe, do a sweet overly dramatic fall and break your face. Then everyone will think you are soo cool because they, too, know about the IYTTFTATWR. Send in your pictures and I will post them. Apparently tonight we are having a BBQ here at my apartment. Piyum the jackass told everybody last night that we are having one. I think we will run out of money in eleven days. But it was fun while it lasted. Tonight it is BYOBBQ. And I got my ice cream horn fixed on the Pimpo. Yes, it sounds just like the ice cream man. And I have animal noises, sirens, and a microphone. We will be driving around H'burg for the next three years kickin some ass. Send me some pictures or anything. I'm curious to see what you want to see on here. Any requests? We will do anything. Here are some sweet pictures.
-Smatrick-

Good morning Piyum the Jackass.


Good morning Piyum the Jackass.


Good morning Piyum the Jackass.


Mike drinking all my chocolate syrup to wash down my fuckin Magic Stars.


My first submitted picture and a damn good one at that. Thanks to Cameron for this amazing drawing of a non-peeing mexican.

Some Amazing JMU Links
Hall Ball
Another site I created last year dedicated to our frickin badass sport HALL BALL


Vanilla Ice and Smitty
My site about the Vanilla Ice concert last year. Kick ass.


jam83b.150m.com
Here is James' page. The one that inspired me to putting up useless crap. Go here for more JMU stupidity.


redrocketsaucecom
This is Doop's site. He just started it but it's kicking ass already. And Dashboard Confessional is one of my favorite bands ever.


crazysteve.150m.com
Here is Steve's site that he started last year. He is currently learning how to make webpages so don't laugh at his patheticness right now.


August 26, 2002
First day of classes. My first ever 8 am class. But lucky for me, my 9:05 class is in the same exact classroom. Hahahahahahaha. Man oh man. So I was ready to hop on the bus back to my apartment right up the street. Turns out that Route 6 and 9 go to where I need to be rather quickly. And of course I miss them both. So I hop on Route 14. We drive around in a big ass loop for thirty minutes and then I finally get home after being the only frickin person on the frickin bus. But the bus driver's head spasms kept me entertained. So then I went back to campus for my 1:25 class. So I go to buy my books. I gather all of them, including the 5 books I need for history. Total comes to 403.75 dollars. I whip out the brand new credit card ya heard. DECLINED. Dammit. Of course it doesn't become valid until September and my momma threw out my other one. So I left the bookstore looking like a total jackass. So I went to go catch the bus. Route 14. AGAIN. Sonuvabitch. I'm the only person on this frickin bus. Gimme a break. But I just got back from UREC and now I am jacked. Huge. Massive. Hmm... Once I get into the hang of things with my schedule and what not, I will spend more time working on this shiznit. Until then, laaaaaaaaate. Oh, and check out my favorite Ron Suskind quotes. You know, the author of the book "Hope in the Unseen" that all JMUers were required to read. Yes, that white guy who wrote a book about a black inner city boy overcoming his challenges to go to Brown. Yes, the book that relates to JMU oh so well. He came and spoke to the freshmen and the FROGs last night. Talk about worst speaker alive.

Ron Suskind Quotes
"Your parents lie to you."
"Without lies, there is no sex."
"Yes, that guy really is the guy from the book. Come over and give me a hug!"
"God dammit"
"Yo, I'm James Madison and I wrote the Constitution." (dancing like a fool)
"And I feel my hands on my son's ass."
"Keep pedaling."
"We knew our son would go to Harvard, UVA or even James Madison."

Crap, I can't think of any more. He kept making references to himself being Jewish... and kept going back to the damn bed story because some people laughed. What an ass.
-Smatrick-

Sam flexing.


Vote for Sam with Mystery Jazzman at HotOrNot!


Piyum bin Laden


Steve's haircut over the summer.


Us four and Phil Smiley. Hi Phil.


Tom, Dan, and Smitty in HS on twin day. STD represent.



August 23, 2002
Aloha. What a week. We have been busting our arses in orientating the shmen. Shawing. And the late night mandatory staff meetings at our place rocked. Mike calls it the pond. Because all the FROGs are here. And I sweat so much that it appears that I just jumped in a large body of water. I have not been taking too many pictures. But the ones I have taken are good. Great. Check it. Wait til next week when I will post a bigger update. Oh and check out our Freestyle Walking video that we made last year. Along with two other short videos. Just click on them and watch.

Flyswatter.avi
Here is James and Smitty in the Dollar Store. About 5 seconds long. Turn up the sound.

Elevator.avi
Here is Smitty and Steve in the parking deck elevators busting some hardcore moves.

Freestyle Fo Life
This is the Video of All Time. About 3 minutes long. Freestyle walking all around JMU. Kick Ass. Worth it.

-SMITTAAAY-

Steve's Smock.


Steve's Smock again.


James dancing.


Steve's Smock one more time.

ps - Steve is heterosexual.


August 20, 2002
Greetings fellow astronauts. What is up? I've moved in to my apartment here at JMU, and I'm all settled in. I've been busy everyday with FROG training. I am a freshmen orientation guide for White Hall. OHHHH HELL YES. Tomorrow is the big day when everyone moves in. All of my roommates are FROGs too. We get to dance in front of 10,000 people tomorrow at convocation. I am stoked. So is Piyum. I am tired. Something Corporate is my favorite cd right now. Get it. NOW. Or just download it with your super mega ultra fast connection now that you're at college!!! YES!!! OK, back to work. More, bigger updates to come soon. SIGN THE EFFIN GUESTBOOK. C'MON. Seeya. Bye.

-SMITTAAAY-

Piyum's tanline.


Steve and Piyum suckin on Cuban cigars. Breakin the law, breakin the law.


Steve, Smitty, Piyum chillin on our couch. Can't forget MJ.





August 16, 2002
HEY!!!!!!! Sorry lads, it's been awhile since I updated, I know. What can I say? I'm A MORON! HAHAHAHAA. Haven't been doing much at all. I watched Lord Of The Rings. I recommend it. Frodo Baggings! I shaved my head. Check it out. Sorry, my sister is nagging me so we can order pizza. mmm... pizza. I move in to my apartment tomorrow. Wahooo. So I have to hurry up and pack my computer up. Enjoy my shaved head. LAAAAAAAATER.

-Pat-

If I was a monkey, I'd be a chimpanzee.



August 11, 2002
Well... well.. well. Sup dude. Well crap. Wednesday I went to the Vans Warped Tour in Virginia Beach. So many frickin people there. I could barely move. Lots of little girls. All crowd surfing at the same exact time and landing on my head simultaneously. I'm walking. I'm talking. MACAULAY CULKIN! Thursday put on a good show. They rock. So does Finch. So does Home Grown. So does Flogging Molly. Be sure to check all of those bands out. They will not disappoint. We spent the night at my friend Peter's house in Newport News. I woke up to find my windshield smashed. Fuckin assholes. And nobody would come fix it, so I drove home on I-64. It was cool though. It looked like a kaleidescope when we went through tunnels. It's still not fixed. I go back to school on Saturday. Six more days of summer. Waaaah. I haven't been doing a damn thing all week. Literally, nothing. Sitting around just waiting to go to bed at night. Man I am pathetic. I have nothing interesting to post. That's why I am going to ask you to submit anything your heart desires and I will pay you $50. Enjoy your day.

-Pat-

My sweet 'shield.


Vote for me on HotOrNot.com



August 6, 2002
Hey everyone!!!!!!!! It is Tuesday. Tomorrow I go to the Warped Tour in Virginia Beach. Get ready to rock. Here are some bands that rock. Hard. In ABC order. Alkaline Trio. Anti-Flag. Autopilot Off. Bad Religion. Big Wig. Dynamite Boy. Finch. Flogging Molly. Goldfinger. Good Charlotte. Homegrown. Midtown. Mighty Mighty Bosstones. MXPX. New Found Glory. No Use For A Name. NOFX. Reel Big Fish. RX Bandits. Something Corporate. The Starting Line. Thrice. Thursday. Yellowcard. And my idol, ANDREW WK!! And like 30 other bands. All for 20 bucks. Yesterday, we took MJ out thrift shopping and to the Hong Kong Buffet. Look on the menu for the new MJ PAGE!!!!
-Smittalia-


August 2, 2002
Return of the mack. Mack mack mack mack. Yes, I know it's been 2 weeks since I've been here. HAHAHAHA. Sorry but I was in Danville, Virginia sealing up tobacco warehouses and gassing inside then running the hell out of there with NO gasmask. LOL! Then after working 12 hours a day, we came home on Friday. My grandfather passed away that Friday. Saturday morning, I was off to upstate NY for his funeral. And remember that upstate NY has no computers so I could not enlighten you with my brilliance. I just got home last night. Time to relax. Max and relax. On the way home, I picked up a few magazines. Teen People and J-14. J-14 stands for Just For Teens. SHUT UP. I only got them because my only other options were Good Housekeeping, Oprah, and Hustler. So shut up. Anyways, there was a little section in J-14 that caught my eye. It's called "If you had to choose". One of the decisions was you had to choose between one of the following: Smelling Joey Fatone's farts OR having Aaron Carter burp in your mouth. Hmmm... tough choice.... wish they had the choice of Joey Fatone farting in your mouth, THEN it would be much easier to decide. At least for me. Then last night I was watching a special on TLC about Bounty Hunters. These guys rock. Just regular people like you and your mom going out to get people who fled bail, not the Star Wars characters. Then you turn them in and get 10% of the posted bail. You can bust into a house with a sawed-off shotgun and scare the shiiiit out of everyone only to find the person hiding above the water heater in the closet. But don't worry, the bounty hunters caught her. One guy makes about $750,000 a year catching these fools. And the law really doesn't have any restrictions on bounty hunters. You can bust into a house with no warrant and handcuff people without looking back. OH... HELL.... YES. Sooo, I'm starting a bounty hunters group with Doop. We will be called Universal Outlaws Making Ease Moving Out Nonbailpayers Easy Yo...or UOMEMONEY Email me here (smit@smithappens.com) if interested. ..Time to run errands. And kick some ass. Ciao.
-Smittie


No, that's not a tan. Remember I'm pale and boyish.


Close up. A picture of me covered in dirt and glue in Danville after working.


The only decent picture of a REAL bounty hunter!!