New Website Launch! 1st in the TRILOGY!

All good things come in three's. Three wise men. Three Stooges. Three blind mice. Three dog night. The Pierce triplets. Three Indiana Jones movies. And now, three new websites that I will be launching this week!

The very first website that I am unveiling is a site that I have been meaning to make for a long time now. Too bad I have zero programming ability and zero friends that can program. (If you think you are my friend, and you do know how to program... well, obviously I do not feel the same way.) That was until Brandon of Skrilled came to my rescue.

The concept of the site is simple. It is a lyric database in which users submit the lyrics. You can either search or browse the current lyrics by Artist name or Song name. Yadda, yadda, yadda... there are thousands of lyric sites out there, why should you use this one? Well, because it's one step above any of those dull, advertisement saturated regular lyric sites. The entire point of the site is for visitors to discuss what the song means to you, how it makes you feel, what the songwriter may have meant when composing the song, or any other comments you feel are appropriate. It's an open forum to exchange ideas about songs and come together as a community.

This is where I need YOU to step in. As you can see, the site is just being born. Meaning there are not many songs on the site. YET. So, if you will, go ahead and submit lyrics to any song you want. It can be the latest Britney jam to a freestyle that you just made up. Here is your moment to shine. This site won't succeed unless YOU actively submit lyrics, leave comments, and spread the word. Once we get this baby rolling, then we can sit back and enjoy the show. But now is the crucial time to build it right.

So ladies and gentlemen, I present to you:


So next time you hear a song and are not sure of what it means? Go to SONG SENSE! Fellow webmasters, if you will plug the site on your sites to help this thing get off the ground, I will plug your sites on here. Also, if you submit 20 or more lyrics, I will plug your site multiple posts from here on out. :)

Stay tuned for the chilling middle and conclusion of the WEBSITE TRILOGY!


Posted by Smit at 10:54 PM

2003 Christmas Cards!

I am following the hoof steps of Mad Pony and spreading the Holiday cheer with the first official annual Christmas cards! The two above are just two that I've thrown together tonight, but you can choose from them or wait until I throw even more shoddy Photoshop jobs together. If you want to receive a real life in-your-real-mailbox Christmas card, you must give me an address. Email me with a place of residency, and I'll make you your own personalized card. I will even write my name on autograph it!! WOULD BUY FROM AGAIN!! A+++!!!

Big things come to those who wait. I promise a launch of a site that I'm doing with Ryan Perry either Monday or Tuesday, and my personal favorite secret project unveiled by the week's end. Tootles.


Posted by Smit at 02:30 AM


Last night I was going to shave my head when I was bombarded with the requests to form my dead protein follicles into the beaten-to-death unfunny butt of all jokes townie hairstyle known to the layman as the mullet. Sure, I really do not understand the phenomenon of "mullet hunting" and snickering when spotting a Camaro crash helmet, Kentucky waterfall, Achy Breaky Mistakey, hockey hair, the LPGA, etc, in the local Wal-Mart.

Okay fine, I think it's a ridiculous hairstyle that was never in style, well certainly should have never been, and I succumbed to the wishes of my cronies by allowing Teggy to perform his first ever "real" haircut job. Already having the lisp down pat, he did a damn good job of cutting my hair, which leaves one step left. The grand opening of his barber shop hair salon "A Shear Delight" in downtown H'burg. Be there or be quare.

So I still have the hairdon't and you can find the pictures here. I can't remember how many times I heard the line "Business in the front, party in the back" last night at Barbara Jane's 21st birthday bash. Maybe because I was blasted, or maybe because I chose not to listen to anybody, or maybe because I wasn't even there. What?

Blah, I promise big things in the next few days. PROMISE! Til then, go to my roommate's site Canned Jam because he busted out a kickass new layout, and he is updating more in the last few days than I have in over a month.

Oh, that Paris Hilton tape? Sign up here for free and watch the best version out on the net! L8R.

Posted by Smit at 03:42 PM

Wheeeew, I'm baaack!

Alright this is going to be quick. After getting slammed with over 300,000 visits in the past 5 days and being on Entertainment Tonight for the Free Paris Hilton tape, I think it's time for things to get back to normal. At least for now. LAUGH OUT LOUD.

People may think I am sellout for putting up porno ads during this past week. Go ahead. Call me a sellout as I blow by you in my fat Escalade. Bling Blang. Can't complain here. I'll write more. Later.

By the way, the picture at top is Teggy and me dressed as Milli Vanilli for 1589's 1990's party. WOOP.


P.S.-... if you still want that Paris Hilton Tape, or some other porn, (which happens to be most of you) sign up for a free membership and watch the tape here. Or click here. Now get out of here.

Posted by Smit at 04:12 PM


Obviously everyone is awaiting the recap of my Halloween and how many screen names I scored. Well the official final tally stands at 23. Now let me break that down.

JAM83B is my roommate, James, and the only screen name on my costume that I already had. He insisted he add his name to the top and gladly I bent over and grabbed my ankles. 22 screen names left.

Most of the names I got were from people who asked if they could add their name, not the other way around. You build the buddy list costume, they will come. All of the names besides James' and another guy were females. Let's get to that.

There were two girls who ran into me in a drunken frenzy and automatically sprung for the sharpie to write down their names. Apparently one of the girl's boyfriend was jealous of my mad skills and wanted to add his name. I, being the friendly baby that I am, hesitantly obliged and he proceeded by adding the name CUNTMCCROTCH14 in all caps. Immediately I knew this fuck signed a fake name, and I called him out on it. Well, more like I screamed and yelled him out on it. He just sat there in his navy boy costume receiving the full blow of anti-homosexual slurred slurs that I was spitting out. His girlfriend, obviously sensing the hostility, went on ahead to add his real screen name. HA... you know where I went with this. I got up in his face and spat "YOU LIKE THAT BITCH, I GOT YOUR REAL SCREEN NAME NOW. YOU ARE FUCKING GOING DOWN!" and he calmy replied "What are you gunna do, send me viruses?" "OHHHH, SHIT, NO YOU DIDN'T! YOU ARE FUCKING GO DOWN YOU FUCKING SAILOR FUCK!" and then he left.

I couldn't find him for awhile, and right when I almost forgot about him I was outside on the celly telly when I spotted his white cap in the parking lot three stories below. Apparently I screamed my face off taunting and daring him to come up to the balcony and meet my uppercut of death. However, he ignored me and continued walking away with his girlfriend. HAH WHO HAS THE LAST LAUGH NOW!?

So that's the breakdown of the screen name acquisition. 1 James + 1 fake CUNTMCCROTCH14 + 1 real navy boy Todd screen name + 20 other ladies' screen names = 23 screen names that I have not IMed once. I am the pIMp.

The morning after.

Angel as a bee, Piyum as an IM, James as a profile, Me as buddylist.

So what if I am not naked under my costume for the costume party. I am naked under my clothes. THE AUCTION IS STILL ALIVE.

Last night was the spectacular 1990's party for the 21st birthday of Billiams. I was Vanilli, and Teggy was Milli. Well more like Teggy really resembled Milli, and I look like Milli's junky hunchback extremely nervous balding on-the-verge-of-death younger half-brother. Pictures are on the way. I HOPE. SEND THEM TO ME.

Send an e-Pint to contribute to anybody's alcoholism. Ciao.

Posted by Smit at 04:30 PM