Big news kiddies, it's almost time to unveil and unwrap the new and improved! This coming Monday, September the Twelfth of Two Thousand and Five, I kindly request your presence (presents) at this URL while you are beginning the first day of your neverending work week slaving for the man.


More FRESH content. That means daily updates of random entertaining videos, photographs of scantily clad women, links that would get you fired if you worked for the Anti-AHREF federation, Flash cartoons, and wild-and-crazy Omar Gooding style games to distract you from the monotony of your cubicle.

DAILY (workday because IT'S FOOTBALL SEASON) written updates! Whether that means a 4 line run-on sentence explaining the new media I just uploaded, or a sporadic heartfelt plead to end women's suffrage, there will be SOMETHING to read. And that's all that matters.

MORE Interactivity. Users will now be encouraged and pressured against their will to SubSmit links, photos, videos, flash, or spyware to hijack my computer and rendering me useless. NOW MORE THAN EVER.

EASIER Accessible! To reach a broader audience, this site will unveil the patented Internet Braille system, the first and last of its kind! Blind fogies will now be able to feel their monitor's pixels protrude from the screen and finally be able to join the normal, regular people and appreciate everything this site offers! (Note: This technology will make ALL monitors warp, so this is just a fair warning so you are not creeped out. There is no way to distinguish blindies from normalies. HEY FUCK OFF WHINER, AT LEAST YOU CAN SEE.)


For the Fellas! This is quite a massive hit on this site, sparking riots in middle school locker rooms. Of course not only will I keep it around, but now I will add MORE THAN ONE! PLUS many more pictures of the same girl.

For the Ladies! Do not think for a second I would get rid of this, the trademarked FTL. I will also expand this section as with the FTF, but I will be dedicating eight whole hours every workday to accumulate thousands of "fine" looking men for those women viewers out there. YOU'RE WELCOME

College Photo Galleries: Of course these will be listed on this site on the main pages, as these were the main inspiration for the birth of this site. You can look back and reminisce about the "good old days" in college. Also, I'm keeping them so my friends won't think I've sold out and forgotten about my grassroots, but really I have and they just think I haven't. JMU FOR LIFE.

Old subpages: Old fan favorites such as Freestyle Walking, LineWalking, and Mystery Jazzman will still be readily linked, just not on the very top of the page anymore. Why? Because they are three years old, and I am fat now.

So THAT, my friends, is the preview of the gigantic launch that will happen next Monday. WINKFACE.

OH! And if you want to SubSmit links to be linked on Monday, do so by filling out this cute lil form: SubSmit Links!

Posted September 09, 2005 at 07:57 AM