BREAKING NEWS: Britney is Trash

I am sitting here on the recliner that I hardly ever get up from and I am watching the premiere of Britney Spears' new reality television show "Britney and Kevin: Chaotic" on UPN. What makes this series different from Nick and Jessica's "Newlyweds" or Travis Barker's "Meet the Barkers" or a three-day-old bottle of stale urine? I would not mind watching those shows on marathon and dumping the bottle on my head if I had the option of pulling this show off the air.

The purpose of this show is for the Federlines to dispell all those controversial rumors that those tabloids and the paparazzi have been spreading to the American public. Now we the people have the opportunity to get up close and personal to this "A-List" couple to find out the real truth for ourselves. Well I, as a person, have taken upon myself to draw my own conclusion about what I think about this couple.

Britney Spears Federline slutbag is a whore. This pisspoor attempt at riding in on the coattails of the couple reality television mania relies on sex, sex, cigarettes, and more sex. I don't remember how many times she asks her friends on camera what their favorite sex positions were, tells her best friend she needs to get laid, mentions that she wants to just stay in the hotel room and **** all day(I put the ****'s in place of "fuck" or "doit" because that's what it said on the show), and proudly proclaims on screen that she had sex three times that day. All this trash crammed into 48 minutes of television on a basic cable channel during the prime time hour of 9 pm. I imagine that UPN will be getting a lot of calls from angry drunken parents in the coming hours.

I signed up for the Meet the Federlines sweepstakes on the UPN website, I sure hope I win. Now, now I have to go as my laptop is making my inner thighs sweat all over my chair.