I am away from my website right now.

First and foremost, Katie Holmes and her homosexual fiance Chris Klein have broken off their engagement. This means I have decided to make my official announcement that I am joining the race in pursuing her to make her my wife. I love her with all my heart and I wil do ANYTHING to make her mine. So if you are her agent, please arrange for this to happen.

Second of all, I have to plug Jiglet's DVD Power Hour because it is just awesome. It captures the true essence of college pregaming with naked women flailing around in your favorite top 40 hits uncensored videos! He sent me a copy with the rap and rock versions. Pop it in your DVD player, take a sip every time the music video changes, switch to the other genre when you're done, drink more, and then pass out alone because you have no friends. Go buy one NOW!

I have some devastating news, idiots. I am leaving tomorrow to go on a cruise for my last Spring Break as a student and my first as an illegitimate father. The previous sentence translates into "I will be postponing my daily updates because I am on vacation on a boat that charges 75 cents a minute Internet access, so PayPal me some donations so I can say I'm going to update but I won't." I will be going with a group of about 30 of my closest friends to the Caymans, Cozumel, and Key West.

I just went shopping for new shirts, boxers, socks, Dramamine, four levels of sunscreen so I don't get sun poison and throw up like last year, sunglasses, a new digital camera card, pocket harpoons, and Guinness sandals that Piyum also bought but we didn't know each other had gotten them. If that doesn't scream "Spring Break" then I don't know what does besides wet t-shirt contests and sluts grinding on each other in front of crowds of juiced up frat boys and 24 hour binge drinking and monkey jungles.

I decided to ask some fellow masters of the web friends of mine if they wanted some of their links posted on my site while I am away. (Yes, I have friends on the Internet all over the world, we all share the same interests and we all have each others backs if one were to need assistance in a back alley, I lead an entirely different life that my "real" friends haven't the slightest clue about and couldn't possibly understand, it's practically a cult, an extremely unhealthy one at that, no, not really we are just the only breed that can tell HTML jokes, understand them, and genuinely laugh at them out loud in a dark desolate locked room for 36 hours straight and cringe at the thought of social interaction and sunlight.)

So here are some links. I wouldn't click them unless your child is sitting on your lap.

p0tter's article on the joys of being a bachelor.
1215's article on how to make puke taste better.
Frank's babe videos. (He's from Ireland).
The new Maxim calendar.
Leenk's media files.

Posted March 03, 2005 at 09:21 PM