Keg Race 2005 Draft Predictions!

DISCLAIMER: Welcome back to our two-part Pre-Draft Selection Special here at Smithappens.com! We hope you all enjoyed the power rankings. Now its time for the real deal, the MOC-KEG RACE DRAFT!

I would like to throw out a disclaimer. While some might be offended at their projected selection remember it’s all in good fun and while some of the girls might feel sleighted as well as the guys remember, it is only natural to figure that with our body weight we are better drinkers, not because of any more or less quicker we will drink but b/c of how much more our bodies can hold.

Guys, I did my best, just go with it. Most of the new players rankings were lower because of their inexperience with the KEG RACE itself, not drinking.

When you read notice the name in (Parenthesis). It signifies what team they were on last year or whether or not they competed as seen in the N/A.

Please take it with a grain of salt and humor, take er easy and if she’s shue, you know the rest!!!


1. Rusty Hohman (Blue)– This should come as no surprise. He went late last year, that won’t happen again.

2. Shaun Staunton (Anti) – Second pick last year, second pick this year.

3. Meat (Blue) – A surprise? I think not, this man was taken high last year by Ed and proved his worth, prepare for more of the same.

4. Mike Keown (Anti) – Mike is prepared to step it up from his mid pick status from last year. Expect a strong display of his skills.

5. Burns (Anti) – Selected lower than his skills show last year, I feel that the managers should recognize Burns earlier rather than later.

6. Billiams (Anti) – While some might say “how so?” I say just have faith. Bill’s gotten tougher after his stint away from 1589 and he’s going to show it.

7. Blonde Jon (Anti) – Again, why so early? This being the second year, we saw a lot out of Jon last year. His stock has risen.

8. Kristian (N/A) – While lacking experience, he’s still prepped. Just look at his track record. Which ever manager takes him knows what Kristian brings to the table and will realize it early in the draft rounds

9. Smitty (Anti) – Endurance early on in this draft it key. Expect a lot of selections like this to follow after Smitty is drafted. From here on out consider the following rounds to be your 5-tool players.

10. Angel (Anti) – Again, endurance will be a common theme for a few rounds.

11. James (Blue) - His t-shirt last year was top notch.

12. Luis (Anti) – Travels have made him hungry but more importantly THIRSTY.

13. Ryan (Blue) - Two in one combo of Trevor and Ryan shouldn’t go unnoticed and his shirt was also quite entertaining.

14. Grant (N/A) – while some of you might say he should’ve been earlier, his inexperience with the race is his downside. He’ll prove us wrong but experience weighs in this draft.

15. Nick (Anti) - Smooth as silk.

16. Piyum (Anti) - Someone has to have confidence in him and I expect him to exorcise his demons of recent past.

17. Brad (Anti)
- Since he’s not going to be doing double duty this year around, he’s vaulted himself.

18. Danwho (N/A) - Drunken stupor, sloppy speech, anyone who takes themselves to that extent when drinking needs to go in the top 20.

19. Galli (Anti) - Unfortunately I hate to see Galli this low but his pick last year has hurt him, not to mention his demand of a trade; his karma comes at a high price.

20. Steve (Blue) - Depending on which team is on which side, Steve might be distracted by the window.

21. Mac n Steve (N/A)
– Keep this kid off a team with girls or else! Especially Stine or Pee Pee lips if she should play.

22. Vini & Clay (N/A) – While I can’t say I like seeing Vini and Clay this low, I can’t really make a good judgment call on them because frankly I don’t know them, however, look for them to go in the middle of the pack of men only bc of the mystery of what they could bring.

23. Duane (Blue) – Make hers a double! While she was taken mid-early on last year, I don’t expect this year’s draft to be as calm, she could go perhaps 10 picks ahead of where I have her .Don’t be surprised!

24. Polak (Blue) – Another on of the victor’s spoils, expect Polak to go early.

25. Abby (N/A) – Status unknown but if playing, what a steal!

26. Joy (Blue) - +1 baby, she’s got history! Without her trade team blue would not be engraved in block lore.

27. Pride (N/A) – Status uncertain but come on, Pride and Joy? You can’t take one without the other, easily taken in tandem.

28. Kelly (Blue) – Status uncertain but she packs a drinking punch.

29. Scully (Anti) – Get her together with her apartment and she’s lethal.

30. Stine (Blue) – Her back door is locked! The opposite coach of Mac n Steve’s team needs to take Stine, DO NOT LET THEM COHABITAT TOGETHER or else expect problems.

31. Mo (Blue) – Again, combined with her girls, the four amigos will dominate.

32. Asian (Anti) – Motor mouth but keep her quiet and she’ll do just fine.

33. Jenny I (Anti) – Status uncertain but she’ll show up for sheer revenge of last years selection number if she plays.

34. Amanda (Anti) – Salamanda as Smitty says, expect more of the same of last years performance, reserved and steady.

35. E. Walsh (N/A) – Wisdom from a leader in McHale pushes her.

36. AnnieFegs (N/A) – Status uncertain but an intimidating force.

37. T Doyle (N/A) – I can say from experience she gets drunk easily but depending on which team she’s on, she will be ready with some help from her significant other.

38. Lindy (Blue) – Status uncertain but I have faith she’ll compete. Experienced and sound player.

39. Jean (N/A) – A newcomer but one of the hottest American Gladiators I’ve ever seen.

40. Babies (N/A) – Status uncertain but she’ll lie on the ground and trip any competitor you need.

41. BJ (N/A) – Status uncertain but apparently she’ll moon to your hearts content, distraction ranking = 10.

42. Shue (N/A) – While she didn’t compete last year, I’ve heard she doesn’t drink beer? I don’t know. Expect drunken dramatics but she’ll suck ‘em down with the swiftness.

Posted February 02, 2005 at 08:44 PM