Last weekend, I went down to East Carolina University to take part in Pi Kappa Phi's Reggae on the Lake, a ginormous festival of good music, cheap beer, and even cheaper whores. The fraternity rented out charter buses to pick up everyone all around town, which was pure P-I-M-P-L-E. Over 5,000 drunken college kids in one place without authority is my idea of heaven. There were no bike cops breathing down your neck and blowing snot in your beer like here at JMU. Which of course ended up in a huge fight in which I was stuck in the middle of until I got hauled off to jail. Just kidding, I wasn't in the middle, more like to the left middle. I got pushed all around and over coolers as I cried and prayed to St. Anthony to keep everyone safe.

I'm sorry to say but this party put the infamous JMU Block Party to shame. BLOW ME MY COLLEGE IS BETTER THAN YOURS. MY DAD CAN BEAT UP YOUR DAD.

Check out the gallery.

Now I have to take this time to dedicate the rest of this post to my mentor Alanis Morrissette and give thank you's to all that were in attendance.

thank you terror
thank you disillusionment
thank you frailty
thank you consequence
thank you thank you silence

Thank you Sam for turning 22 on October 2nd. Thank you for paying for everything. Thank you for forgetting your 10 dollar ticket at Cindy's so you had to buy another one at the gate. Thank you for forgetting to bring your cell phone to the party so that nobody could get in touch with you. Thank you for leaving your wallet and phone at the steakhouse that night. Thank you for forgetting your ID when we went to the bars. Thank you for leaving to go back home Sunday without taking your bag. Thank you for being you. Mindful, forgetful you.

Thank you Cindy for letting us stay at your place. Thank you for not having Pepto Bismol on hand when I needed it most. Thank you for letting me sleep in your bed with you and Annie for the most miserable sleeping experience to date. Thank you for being your saucy ass.

Thank you Ashley for driving us all the way and being a stupid slut.

Thank you Annie for driving up from Charleston and being my best friend.

Thank you Pete for betting me on the Virginia Tech - West Virginia game 5 minutes before we heard the final score and giving me 5 bucks.

Thank you Ali G for picking Claire Danes on the movie game and my guessing it correctly, never knowing my phone number as I have known yours for eight years, and for the bourbon and Coke at the bar.

Thank you for Mallory for having a sassy lighter which was a piece of shit and ridiculously difficult to use.

Thank you Stine for nodding off in the car on the way back and managing to stay asleep after your head continously wobbled to the side and you corrected it over and over, and for rocking my world.

Thank you Snee for resembling Courtney Cox.

Thank you everyone else who deserves thanks, you know who you are.

It's Parent's Weekend here at JMU which means I will hang out with Pete and Sam and remind all the other parents how much their child is inferior to me.

Posted October 08, 2004 at 03:58 PM