I am a gigantic baby

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Originally I was planning on heading out to Los Angeles next week to meet up with Allie and Lauren, but I never booked my ticket due to the fact I procrastinate and now ticket prices are through the roof. But the reason I didn't book a flight immediately upon getting my invitation for a free stay in Southern Cali is honestly... I am afraid of flying. There, I said it.

I have flown before, from Dulles to Miami on a 757 commercial airliner and Miami to the Bahamas on a 6 person propeller piece of shit, and then back. A total of 4 times in the air in my entire life. All 4 times without incident and gave me the opportunity for quite an amazing experience.

However, the mere thought of flying makes me all anxious and sweaty. I really have no idea what it is. All of my friends have flown all over the world and have shared great stories of their successful trips. I really do want to travel to Europe, Australia, and Arizona before I settle down and take care of my illegitimate children. But that would require me to man up and hop on a plane. That or take really long boat trips.

Even though there's more of a chance of dying via a donkey than in a commericial airline crash, I still am afraid. Belligerent burros are on the upswing this quarter. I'm not afraid of terrorists. I'm not really afraid of death, it's inevitable for everyone and everyone you know, but something about flying really gets to me. It's definitely my number 1 fear. A true genuine fear. There's the saying "Ships are safe in the harbor, but that's not what ships are meant for." Which translates into I have to grow balls out of my sandy vagina sooner or later. I really would like to catch a ride on one of those ships.

Anyways, I'm sure I'll come around in due time, most likely with the help of four Valiums, but I'll fly one day. Since I will likely own my own private jet by the time I'm 22. Shit, that's less than 2 months.

Since I'm an idiot and passed up on the LA trip, I might head up to NYC with MPK and co. to see JMU's own Piano Man Ross Copperman rock the Village on Monday night. And then head up to the Rochester/Buffalo area the following week to meet up with some relatives. OWW OWW. Then come back and start up school again.

NEW FANSIGNS! This time from Julie of SeeJulie.com.

Click here to see all the entire photo shoot of her and an URL that looks similar to mine, but not exactly. I don't know how many times my site has been labeled as "SMITH HAPPENS" on other websites, and I really don't understand how this happens. Clearly the name of this site is a play on the phrase "SHIT HAPPENS" but instead of "SHIT" I substituted my nickname "SMIT" for this name so that it rhymes with the original phrase. However, some people think it's SMITH HAPPENS. That doesn't rhyme nor does anybody EVER call me just "SMITH". Now, I'm not going to bite the hands that feed me, and I will take any links and fansigns I can get for the fact I am a filthy whore. Just stating a point.

SUBsMITTED LINKS! Click to submit!

How much is inside an Oreo? Ink Cartridge? Keg? | Proof that any punk rock song can be written in 30 seconds | Hilarious Flash cartoons with a Princess | Joe Cartoon to lower your IQ | Weight Watchers cards from 1974 | Keep your Jesus off my penis | Porn star or My Little Pony? | Evernet for free kittens! | Paris and Nick break up, world doesn't care | The Hangover Cafe | The Satire Awards! | Southern Fried for some crazy weird shit

I am going to see The Village tonight.

Posted July 30, 2004 at 04:34 PM