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It's been 15 days since I've written anything, and it's gotten just downright ridiculous. Every post I've put up in the last half year seem to start with an "Oh my, I haven't updated in weeks, I will do it soon, I promise, now let's move on to free celebrity sex tape news." Pathetic. I really had no idea when the next time would be that I would get back into this whole gig. So I figured I would get the ball rolling with just some random news and update about what I've been up to.

The Spring semester of my junior year in college is now complete. Which means I have one more year left until I am a college graduate. Pretty fucking scary, and it's just now hitting me how time flies by when I see everyone in the class above me set off for for the real world. Anyways, I'm not fretting about the future, I'm one to take it day by day. Just think, we could all be dead by now!

So, yes, I'm relieved this semester is over. Well, the academic aspect of it. I breezed through my major courses, which are subjects that I actually care for and will use in my future career endeavors. The required general education "bullshit" classes are the ones that like to take a beating on my GPA. I did try, but it's hard to focus on subjects where I know I will never use the material ever again, thus the poor performance. I did not fail anything, no worries, but let's just say I'm not happy about how I did. Just glad it's over. The only college course in which I ever received an "F" in is Computer Science, which I took freshman year and bombed the shit out of the first few programming assignments and just gave up on the class. Bet you never thought I would fail that class out of all possible classes, now did ya? Because it's obvious I am probably the best person with computers in the entire nation.

And I gave up on going to the gym this past semester and now have some nice stomach flab and love handles to show for it. Something I've never had before, and it's quite depressing. Nothing quite like the tiptop inshape superstar nationally ranked sprinter and athlete Smitty in high school, no worries though, the New Smitty starts tomorrow.

No more slacking around in various aspects of life. No more napping all day only to rely on Nyquil to induce me into nighttime sleep. No more not going to the gym (I'm starting tomorrow, and I even brought my bike!). No more just merely existing and letting time pass me by. IT'S TIME FOR NEW SMITTY!

Okay well since New Smitty doesn't start until tomorrow, I'm going to bed.

PSYCH! SIIIIIIIIIKE.

I'll be taking a course here at JMU for May session, an entire semester's 3 credit class crammed into a 16 day crash course. This, however, is no ordinary course. It's an... ONLINE CLASS! I have no idea what to expect, but I know it's up to me to discipline myself to do the work and succeed at my own pace. I'll keep you up to date with my progress.

I will also be here all summer working with a department at JMU as the webmaster for their site. It's a position I've had since January, but I'm not allowed to mention what sites I am working on for fear of word getting out that JMU has hired that "Smithappens" guy. I put this site on my resume and cover letter for them to check out what I have done. When I was initially interviewed, one of my then-future bosses suggested that I don't show any future potential employers a site about "Mexicans peeing" and other crude content. I concurred and then proceeded to be hired for the position. I must say it's been a valuable and pleasant experience with the people I work with. It's also nice to have jobs in fields that I want to work for as an actual career.

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Well considering this site is a place to express my narcissistic views and rants and I know you all want to live vicariously through me, here is a picture of me at a party that I just had to share.

Keeping with the self-indulgence theme, here is my Anti-Haley Joel page in Maxim magazine in the United Kingdom.

From a study- "Overweight children are more likely than their peers to be the victims, and in some cases the perpetrators, of teasing, name-calling and physical bullying..." So basically, it's the fat kids picking on the fat kids. Um... is there a problem here? Let them eliminate each other and let us normal, perfect kids go on with our lives. Here is the link to the article....

This is actually a sick yet pretty funny television news affiliate website exposing older men seducing what they thought were young girls on the Internet. They show up to the doorstep only to be bombarded with a news camera and reporter in their faces and shown on that evening's broadcast. I was about to crack a joke here, but I just got sick to my stomach and threw up all over my monitor, and now it's hard to type because there is a piece of corn sliding down and leaving a streaky trail blocking my view.

Ever wanted to know what the Top 10 Worst Music Album Covers are? You probably thought about it constantly and actively researched the topic, but once again, I prevail and beat you to it. So, HERE.

It's 2004. You know what that means. Cicada mating year! Those nasty lil buggers emerge from underground every 17 years to get their mack on. Literally TRILLIONS of cicadas are coming out in the Eastern half of the United States to reek havoc on the nation. President Bush has officially declared the cicada as a terrorist organization. Al Cicada. As many as 1.5 million of them can take over just one acre! Which gives a reason for pediatricians to be worried about STUPID FUCKING CHILDREN GETTING HURT BY FUCKING WITH THESE BUGS. And I quote "First there was the girl who fell off her bike fleeing a flying cicada. Then a boy trying to swat a cicada out of the air with a baseball bat instead hit his friend in the nose. " HA HA HA HA.


And to end this post with a bang, it seems that Demi Moore is just the latest in washed out celebrities "accidently" releasing "stolen" pictures or videos in lame attempts at publicity stunts. Which may, in fact, not be lame after all, but proven formulas for temporarily happier washed out celebrities and a happier male species. Ladies, did I forget to mention that Ashton Kutcher is also involved in these "compromising" photographs? Teeheheheheheh giggle giggle. Check out the Sun article proving my allegations true.


And it's time for old Smitty to hit the sack. New Smitty comin atcha before you can hit Refresh over and over and over and over.

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