DAVID BECKHAM DOES IT FOR 90 MINUTES IN 11 POSITIONS!
I've gotten some search requests pertaining to the David Beckham affair incident, most notably "David Beckham wanker" and "David Beckham affair jokes." Now, now I am known to take a break from my strict daily routine of seriousness and post a few jokes on this site, but those David Beckham affair jokes are just not on this site. THAT IS, UNTIL NOW!
Note- I have never heard a David Beckham affair joke, and I have never searched for one. Meaning that all these jokes are 100% my property and credit must be given to me. NO LAUGHING ALLOWED.
Q: Why did David Beckham cross the road?
A: To have an affair!
Q: What does David Beckham say to his wife when she cries about his mistress?
A: Life's not a-ffair!
Q: What is David Beckham's favorite card game?
A: Solitaffair!
Q: Who is David Beckham's favorite old time duet?
A: Sonny and Chaffair!
Q: Who is David Beckham's favorite Prime Minister?
A: Tony Blaffair!
Q: What is David Beckham's all-time favorite femanist music carnival?
A: Lillith Affair!
Q: What is David Beckham's favorite magazine?
A: Sports Illustraffaired!
Q: What's red, white, and having an affair?
A: David Beckham!
A priest and a rabbi are waiting at a bar. David Beckham comes in late, and the priest says "Heyyyy there he is, come and join us, why don't you pull up a chaffair!"
TADA. Post some of your own David Beckham affair jokes right now!
Why is David Beckham afraid of scuba diving?
Because he is scared of running out affair. (ZING!)
hahaha, that is my favorite THUS FAR.
Posted by: smit on April 20, 2004 08:54 PMWhy did David Beckham stop running?
He needed to get a breath affair.
Posted by: Matt on April 20, 2004 10:09 PMMatt that joke was horrible.
What did David Beckham say about his day with Smitty?
He had affairly good time.
Posted by: Indiana Saul on April 20, 2004 10:37 PMhahahaha, matt that is basically the same joke... hey wait i have a good one.
why did the nonsmoker go out of the smoking section? he needed to get a whiff affair.
saul, that is a nice friendly joke.
Posted by: smit on April 20, 2004 10:52 PMCome on guys, be affair, I am trying my best.
Posted by: Matt on April 20, 2004 11:40 PMWhat's it called when she doesn't catch you?
Affair e-tale ending.
Posted by: RP on April 21, 2004 04:16 AMWhat's it called when your mistress bitchslaps your wife?
Not affair fight.
Posted by: RP on April 21, 2004 04:17 AMWhat ride do I always get laid on at the carnival?
Affair iss-wheel.
Posted by: RP on April 21, 2004 04:20 AMI forgot to put David Beckham in the first few jokes because I am what?
Affairly retarded kid.
Posted by: RP on April 21, 2004 04:22 AMWhat kind of ref does David Beckham want reffing his soccer games?
An honest one with good credentials.
What, did you think I was going to say "affair" one?
Posted by: Matt on April 21, 2004 01:43 PMWho is Beckham's favorite pro wrestler?
Rick A-Flair
that joke sucked
What is David Beckham's favorite 90s wanna-be news television show?
A Current Affair
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Posted by: Bob on April 23, 2004 02:41 AMWORST JOKES EVER! THEY WERE SO BAD THAT I COULDN'T HELP BUT LAUGH. NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT THOUGH, THOSE ARE MY FAVORITE KIND OF JOKES. IN CONCLUSION...I LIKE MEN!
Posted by: BEEJ on April 23, 2004 10:00 PMWhat is an affair's favorite deli food?
David beckHAM SANDWICH!
oh man. you are too cool smitty.
Posted by: aaron on April 25, 2004 02:16 PMi really dont find these funny. but you know what i say-- all's affair in love and war.
Posted by: David Beckham on April 26, 2004 10:42 AMWhat did David Beckham say after eating a bean burrito?
"Oops, I affairted..."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... get it, he AFFAIRted...!! I could have easily just said he farted but the whole point was to incorporate the word affair into the joke thus bringing in the punishing hard cold reality that he's a cheater!!
INGENIOUS!!! I am now officially ComedyMan!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
What did David Beckham say after eating a bean burrito?
"Oops, I affairted..."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... get it, he AFFAIRted...!! I could have easily just said he farted but the whole point was to incorporate the word affair into the joke thus bringing in the punishing hard cold reality that he's a cheater!!
INGENIOUS!!! I am now officially ComedyMan!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
I dont understand how smit could ask for sponsors on his site...when he never maintains a steady flow of updates...
Posted by: Steve on April 27, 2004 02:50 AMhe gets em! that's how!
Posted by: RP on April 27, 2004 05:25 PMCOMEDYMAN YOU STOLE MY JOKE, YOU'RE NOW OFFICIALLY STEALEROFMATERIALMAN. ...and i am a material girl
Posted by: RP on April 27, 2004 05:27 PMWhy is it an "Affair" when you're famous . . . I've been a "Fu**ing Cheater" on may occasions, i need to be famous, so i can have an "Affair" instead of being a "Fu**ing Cheater" . . . Just an thought . . . By the way, if you're David Beckham . . . You are a "Fu**ing Cheater" . . . !
Posted by: Rabbit on April 27, 2004 06:55 PMWhy is it an "Affair" when you're famous . . . I've been a "Fu**ing Cheater" on may occasions, i need to be famous, so i can have an "Affair" instead of being a "Fu**ing Cheater" . . . Just an thought . . . By the way, if you're David Beckham . . . You are a "Fu**ing Cheater" . . . !
Posted by: Rabbit on April 27, 2004 06:56 PMWhat's with all these people who have nothing better to do than bitch about people's sites? Get a life Steve! Go back to your midget animal porn sites and stay away from the good ones!
Posted by: BEEJ on April 27, 2004 11:38 PMWhat's with all these people who have nothing better to do than bitch about people's sites? Get a life Steve! Go back to your midget animal porn sites and stay away from the good ones!
Posted by: BEEJ on April 27, 2004 11:38 PMSorry material girl,
Yes, I did steal your joke... and for that I am truly sorry. However, did you conclude your jest with a very serious, in depth commentary which explains to the public the reasons why we laugh at such things...
I think not. To make it up to you though, I will leave with another joke:
Why did David Beckham cross the road?
To get another bride!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Posted by: ArtistFormerlyKnownasComedyMan on April 28, 2004 01:02 AMKnock knock!
Who's there?
Posh Spice.
Posh Spice who?
Posh Spice, your wife! Who is in there with you David??? Open up the door, you cheating motherfucker!! I'll cut your goddamn balls off!
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Posted by: ultram on April 28, 2004 07:19 PMWhat's up with the guy above be . . . What the hell is that bitch babblin' about? Call hooked on phonics 1-800-ABCDEFG you piece of illiterate repeatin' shit ! ! ! !
Posted by: rabbit on April 28, 2004 07:35 PMI think the entire "Affair" is Posh Spice's fault she was the one singin' about "If you wanna be my lover, you gotaa get with my friends, make it last forever, friendship never ends" HOLY SHIT, i know the words to that song ? Please excuse me while i realize how much of BITCH i am ! ! !
Posted by: Rabbit on April 28, 2004 07:38 PMA zig a zig ha?
Posted by: Matt on April 28, 2004 08:10 PMNever say "I love you" unless you are completely comfortable with throwing aside the lube and commencing a collage of charismatic colon contortions. Sure it hurts the first time, and you may bleed a little, but lube is for fairies.
Posted by: Homosexual Anal Advisor on April 30, 2004 04:14 PMNever say "I love you" unless you are completely comfortable with throwing aside the lube and commencing a collage of charismatic colon contortions. Sure it hurts the first time, and you may bleed a little, but lube is for fairies.
Posted by: Homosexual Anal Advisor on April 30, 2004 04:14 PMWhat the hell is that comment?? That's pretty fulken sick if you ask me. But, I will make up for that with another joke...
What's the difference between David Beckham and Bill Clinton?
Nothing...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
What the hell is that comment?? That's pretty fulken sick if you ask me. But, I will make up for that with another joke...
What's the difference between David Beckham and Bill Clinton?
Nothing...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
What the hell is that comment?? That's pretty fulken sick if you ask me. But, I will make up for that with another joke...
What's the difference between David Beckham and Bill Clinton?
Nothing...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
why dont you say that a couple more times
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