: Parade of Champions

Parade of Champions

In case you've never read or heard of Parade magazine, I'll tell you. It's an insert into the Sunday newspaper in most major cities and towns. There's always a section where kids write in answers and opinions to a lady who asks interesting or controversial questions. I just so happened to be glancing through the mag a a few years ago when I saw the question, "How did you get your screen name?" I wrote her a real quick two sentence email with my answer. Lucky for me, I got picked. She called me and verified the information as correct. I then received a certificate and a tee-shirt in the mail. Motherbitches. Go ahead and read all the responses.

Soon after the publication, I got swarmed with instant messages from preteen girls and homosexual guys who thought I was cute. I guess it didn't help that my comment was misquoted and really, really, really gay. It's supposed to read, "I saw Bwitched at a concert opening up for Smash Mouth and other bands, and they all waved to me. They were really hot and bangable." However, I got stuck with the comment in the paper, causing to me change screen names to the one I have today. Just think about it, this site could just as easily be Bsmitched.com.

Now the reason I posted my Parade comment is that I found another one this past weekend that I just had to share. The topic was "Have you ever been a victim- or a bully?" There were the typical responses "People call me fat, I cry" or "Yeah, I punch fat kids, so what, fatty?" But in this sea of typicalness and redundancy, I came across a gem. His name is Daniel. Not only does he get bullied around and can't understand why, but this kid got OWNED in the ownedest way possible.

Haaaaaaaaa. Buy my car.

Posted January 07, 2004 at 04:06 PM for GorillaMask.net | Vote for GorillaMask | E-mail | Comments (1139)

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damn funny...but look at the picture of the girl above daniel's, shes like a child version of rachel dratch i cant stop laughing

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NOW I SAY "DUH!" AND THAT SHUTS THEM UP!

Posted by: RP on January 7, 2004 05:12 PM

daniel looks like a cute little girl, my name is daniel and i used to be a cute little girl and i was so ashamed that i used to draw mustaches on with marker so i'd look more like a boy, but daniel, first lets say "the bully" gave you that mustache, we're sticking with that, but green is not realistic, use a darker color that matches ur cute little girl hair

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that was golden

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i can't believe you just dug up b*witched from the coffin of my memory. i feel dirty.

Posted by: kat on January 8, 2004 01:01 PM

those kids get bullied so much that they bottle up all their rage and that rage is going to jump start their puberty a year early and they are gonna beat the living crap and snot out of all the people that gave them swirlies. not to mention they are going to have massive amounts of acne and B.O. go get em wussies!

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B*witched is even a memmorable one hit wonder (like Tommy Tutone) I'm sure the IMs would have stopped anyway.

Posted by: Sean on January 8, 2004 07:14 PM

I had a few assholes try to start shit with me back in middle school. By the time 7th grade hit and I had been bullied for a year, I took one of their shirts and wrapped on his head hockey style and beat the fuck out of him. I had to have 3 teachers pull me off of him. Needless to say, I never had anyone try shit afterwards.

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smit, i usually enjoy checkin out your site everyday but you're strugglin for material my white brother.

Posted by: briann on January 13, 2004 11:54 PM

while i agree that i havent been paying much attention to the site since... hmmm a few months back, how can you not appreciate the parade clips? i mean, cmon! moooahah. i'll get back into the swing of things... at least i keep telling myself that. bah humbug.

Posted by: smit on January 14, 2004 12:53 AM

To Patrick Smith, my Indian brother.

I posted a message earlier saying that I usually like to check your site but you have been sucking lately. I wasn't expecting such an honest answer from you and now I feel like a terd for saying it.
ps. yo'ure right, the parade clips really tickled my fancy.

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