Happy Hollow Weiner

It's fricking flipping Halloween, the holiday celebrating the birth of candy. Last year, I went dressed as a Christmas present. Yeah... cute, genius, spectfuckingtacular I know. Until I got to the party.

Nobody could maneuver around the kid in a giant box, and I surely could not squeeze through thugs and hos without bumping their drinks. I decided to play beer pong so I wouldn't have to worry about moving around, and all went well until the opponents figured out they could shoot bank shots off of my box every fucking time. I sought out the bathroom as a haven from all the misery and hostility I was enduring. Too bad I didn't think to put a pee hole in the gift wrapping and getting out of the box took longer than I expected. Twenty minutes later I emerged only to find a group of girls with faces of disgust as they caught wind of the methane fumes that the guy before me released. Rumors spread and soon enough I was the asshole of the party. "MOVE IT OR LOSE IT!" and "I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS, BOXBOY."

This year, I'm ditching the box and the painful memories to dress up as the greatest invention in my lifetime. No, not the light bulb or quantum physics. The AOL Instant Messenger Buddy List. I am leaving it blank and carrying a marker with me so I can score some new screen names. YEAAAAAAH HAHAHAA. And I printed out some smileys to convey my emotions because I have lost all sense of the real world and only think in binary and blurt out "lol" instead of my addicting, classic laugh that eight-year-old Timmy will soon miss. Okay here are pictures, I am leaving. ENJOY. Thank you SlimErc.

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