Elephantitis

April 29, 2002 It's Finals week. Only four more days til I am home for the summer. The year flew by. It's gunna be sad, folks. Our lives will never be the same. Our lives as we know it are forever changed. We came in as total strangers, and are leaving as best friends. These are the days we will remember forever. Suck it up, bitch. Nigga please I'm the macaroni with the cheese. Yesterday, James and myself went into a chat room on AIM. We told everybody that we were robots. Below are some of the comments we got from the confused. Check it. RuBbErDuCkY2142:'smit happens' if you are a robot..then you would type much much faster...i mean has anyone ever talked to smarterchild? now thats a real robot JAM83b:haha smit happens:i am a real robot JAM83b:no he is a robot smit happens:smarterchild is a program on a computer smit happens:i am a robot JAM83b:but he types slow JAM83b:that is his thing JAM83b:a slow typing robot JAM83b:i programed him that way JAM83b:cause if he typed fast everyone would know PoloPimpRL:o yeah, i bet ya did JAM83b: they would say there that has to be a robot KuteDreamer501:bye gay ass people who really thinks smit happens is really a robot KuteDreamer501:jam shut the hell up cause u ain't no robot smit happens: hello robot here KuteDreamer501: u know ur not one so shut the fuck up KuteDreamer501: bitch RuBbErDuCkY2142: tell me the years of the holocaust? smit happens: 1939-1946 RuBbErDuCkY2142: come on u "robot" Here is an IM that RubberDucky sent me. I think she is still confused. smit happens (4:53:50 PM): robot here RuBbErDuCkY2142 (4:55:41 PM): how long did it take u to look that one up? a pretty long time since i asked like 10 minutes ago smit happens (4:56:16 PM): robot here RuBbErDuCkY2142 (4:56:29 PM): can i ask another question then? smit happens (4:56:38 PM): robot here RuBbErDuCkY2142 (4:57:36 PM): give me ALL the definitions and parts of speech out of the dictionary of the word indignantly smit happens (4:58:29 PM): 3 entries found for indignantly. adv : in an indignant manner; "Miss Burney protested indignantly, her long thin nose turning pink with mortification at this irreverent piece of mimicry" Source: WordNet ® 1.6, © 1997 Princeton University RuBbErDuCkY2142 (4:58:30 PM): yeah thats what i thought dont get ur dictionary out now smit happens (4:58:39 PM): robot here RuBbErDuCkY2142 (4:59:48 PM): you could just copy it you retard smit happens (4:59:53 PM): robot here RuBbErDuCkY2142 (5:00:01 PM): ur full of shit smit happens (5:00:17 PM): robot here Stupid humans. Also, I added a couple new pages of pictures of us doing some frickin awesome things. Check em. -Smitty Steve ready to go to DHall in the rain. Check out the new pages on the menu on the left. Late.

Fruit Slice

April 27, 2002 So I wake up and there is a fly attacking me! Where did he come from! So he kept attacking me and landing on me and vomiting all over me and then the roaches came and ate the vomit and then took a crap then the flys ate that and vomited again and then the cycle repeats. FOREVER. Sorry I have not updated the site in a few days. Yesterday, we went to judicial review here at JMU. We all got dressed up to go to this informal meeting. We figure we would not get in trouble because we actually cared about the penalty. Anyways, apparently the JMU system does not give a fuck about what you have to say. You are automatically guilty. What you say means nothing. Which is not fair. So we all got strikes and we have to take an alcohol class next semester. All because of our homosexual Hall Director. Fuck him. Everytime I sit in my bean bag, I fall asleep. Why do I ever sit in my bean bag? I have two papers due and finals next week. Boo on that. Then summer is here. There will be new pictures up from our new sports. They are "Doing Things in Ties" , "Apple Throwing", and "Throwing Apples in Ties". You just wait. I've decided to give you a preview of my game, "Smitty Says". It should not be too hard to figure out. Enjoy. Smitty Says -Smitty Here is me and my friends in our bean bags before we fall asleep. Here I am holding a roach.

Piyum is NOT a Cyborg

April 24, 2002 Greetings earthlings. Nothing new in the world today. Last night I watched a special on geysers in Yellowstone National Park. I updated the site just a tad. I added videos of me and my boys kicking ass in everything we do. I also added a Line Walking page... but it's just in the beginning stages. I also made games for your enjoyment. However, I am not putting them on the site because they are freakin homo. Homo, I tell ya. One of the games is called "Smitty Says", which I basically stole from Simon. Smitty clicks a square, then the player clicks a square. Then it gets harder every round. I liked it at first and then I realized what the hell am I doing? This is lamest, stupidest idea I have ever thought of. I deserve to be shot in the kneecap. I also made two other games that are unbelievably homo. I will not be posting any of these. Forget I mentioned them, mmkay? Piyum told me he was a cyborg but I told him he was not a cyborg. Robots are better than cyborgs anyway. Period. Then Piyum told me he was not a cyborg. That's right bitch. I'm out. -Smitty PS- The menu is on the left side of the page. Here is a geyser and another picture of an elephant. Piyum and a real Cyborg. This is Steve and his new girl.

Babar

April 23, 2002 Buenos dias clase. How is everybody this morning? It is 9:30 on Tuesday morning, and I don't have writing class! High five. Well, nothing is new, sorry to disappoint. I'm sure you are wondering how my ingrown toenail is doing? Well, when I first got it, it felt as if an elephant sat on my foot and then got up then jumped on it again. Too bad elephants can't jump. No whammies. But now, I feel quite alright. Hmm... I changed the Peeing Mexican pictures from 141 kilobyte Bitmap images to 3 kilobyte Jpeg images. Something I should've done long ago. So if you don't have a computer that can view these images, steal one. I added some more images yesterday. For God's sake, sign my effin guestbook. I mean c'mon chapass. I will be updating the site soon for I do not study. Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure. Yup. -Smitty PS- The menu is on the left side of the page. Check out the Peeing Mexicans. Diagram showing the proper and inproper ways of cutting your nails. A child ingrown toenail and an adult ingrown toenail. Surgery of ingrown toenails. Elephant.

Mr. Roboto

April 21, 2002 Hullo. Yesterday in the mail, we got our letters to go to judicial review. You see, last weekend Steve, Peter, Phil, James, and myself all got caught with alcohol in the dorm. The RA on duty claimed to smell alcohol outside in the hall from our freshly opened five beer cans. She went and got the homosexual Hall Director, and they sat outside our door for over ten minutes listening to us. Why? Since they fired our original RA, the rest of the building's RA's are out to get us. Just because Hall Ball became such a big hit, they did not like it, or us. I guess you could say we are badass. Badass, I tell ya. Anyway, back to the judicial review. We go talk to a lady and give her our story. Then she decides what the punishment should be. The worst punishment would be the Strike. JMU students only get three strikes before getting suspended. If we do get a strike, it is bull. We personally know two other groups of people that got off without anything but a warning. One was a group of girls, and the other was some guys with a keg in the room. Soooo, we should not get a strike. But to guarantee that I will not get a strike, I will reveal that I really am a robot. I am James' robot. Robots don't have a drinking age. Robots can drink whenever they want. It is not my job to prove that I am a robot, but it is their job to prove that I am NOT a robot. Good luck with that. And if they try to take DNA, I will not let them because I would be incriminating myself because that would mean that I might actually be human. But really, I am a robot. James' robot. -Smitty Which one is Smitty? Check out the rest of the site okay jackasses. JACKASS. JAAAAACKAAASS.

So we meet again...

April 20, 2002 Greetings fellow robots. Bout damn time somebody got their own domain name. Well I'm not going into a long detailed history of my life as an introduction to this shizzle. I'll start off in the present. Today I feel like balls. Balls in fire. Hot fire. But not really hot, more like cold. Because I have a cold. A bad cold. Like balls in ice. My throat is sore and I am going to vomit any second now. HAHAHAHAHA. Philly cheese steak!! Philly cheese steak!! As you know, today is the infamous four-twenty. Isn't it great how one day of the year is designated for heavy use of marijuana. The sweet cheeba. It is practically a national holiday. Practically. I, however, will not be smoking simply because I do not smoke. I have not smoked anything in 41 days. Count them. Forty one. I can feel the vomit inching its way up. Good Lord. Well just wanted to say 'Hello' and 'G'day' to my fellow astronauts. There isn't jack smat up yet, so be patient grasshopper. It will come. Oh yes, it will come. Here is a foxy chick and a few links to waste your effin time. Cya. Bye. -Smitty PS- The menu is on the left side of the page. Check out the Peeing Mexicans. Everybody sign up and try and guess her favorite moment on Dawson's Creek. The winner gets to meet Katie. But since I told you about it, you must forfeit the prize to me. Sorry. Bitch. SIGN UP HERE AND WIN AND GIVE ME THE PRIZE Hall Ball - as seen on CollegeHumor.com Smitty and Vanilla Izzy Jam83b's House of Whores